Sorry about your situation. Have you even considered counseling? Is the marriage too far gone? The physical and emotional stress of a divorce is one of the most painful things a person will ever endure.
A few things to consider:
1. Stay and really try to work things out with a marriage therapist. I would suggest a PsyD over other types.
2. Stay married and come to an arrangement with each other that divorce is not financially feasible.
3. Stay married and just do whatever the fuck you want. Get a little thing on the side and keep everything a secret. Plan your moves. Hide some serious $$$. Be a boss!
4. Create a situation where she cheats on you, and then feels so guilty that she agrees to a shitty divorce agreement.
5. If it were me, I would pay up. Relocate far away. Give her custody of the kids ( your work as a parent is mostly done, the foundation has been laid) see them for 2 or 3 months in the summer only. Make her bust her ass with all of the day to day bullshit of parenting ( aka taxi driver) and live the life you want in a better location.
Also, see as many good lawyers as you can, this leaves only shitty lawyers for her.
And prenuptials only protect premarital assets. It would have done nothing to help you
Cars I've owned '76 Chevelle 350 RIP '82 Monte Carlo 350 RIP '82 Mustang 302 RIP '88 Honda CRX RIP '88 Olds Toronado sold '94 Toyota Tercel sold '99 Acura TL sold 2002 Porsche 911 sold 2003 E46 M3 Blk/gr 2006 MB S430 sold Current: 2008 Infiniti QX56 & 2008 E60 M5