Julia Gillard called Bob Brown into her office one day and
said "Bob, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to
win the country voters."
"Good idea Leader, how will we go about it?" asked Brown.
"Well", said Gillard, "We'll get ourselves one of those
Driza-Bone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra
hat. Oh, and a Blue Heeler cattle dog. Then we'll really look the
part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub and we'll show them how
much we really enjoy the bush."
"Righto" said Brown.
Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue
Heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and
found a typical outback pub. They walked in with the dog and went up to the
"G'day mate", said Gillard to the bartender, "Two middies
of your best beer".
"Good afternoon Leader", said the bartender, "Two middies
of our best coming up".
Gillard and Brown stood leaning on the bar drinking
their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to whoever came into
the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and
in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked
up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip, looked
underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar. A few
moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked
up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head
and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five
stockmen came in and lifted the dog's tail, looked underneath and
went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Gillard and Brown could stand it no longer and
called the barman over.
"Tell me" said Brown, "Why did all those old stockmen come
in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback
"Strewth no", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was
a cattle dog in the bar with two arseholes."
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