Mine also doesn't like somewhat quicker throttle position changes, never has. For instance, if you suddenly push the throttle down hard from a partial throttle position it usually has a nasty hesitation followed by the surge of acceleration - not a nice feeling! Even at speed I do sometimes feel a noticeable change when going between on and off throttle positions no matter how gently you go, sometimes the more direct you are the smoother, strangely enough. But I have also noticed that if you go off throttle very briefly and back on again it does behave somewhat smoother.
One thing that I have made peace with is that this car does not really like fast gear changes - clutch delay valve and laggy throttle makes this quite hit and miss. Can change gears very quickly and precisely on my diesel pickup by comparison. Even things like the dual mass flywheel adds to this equation...
Just to make sure, when you say it lurches forward, you mean straight after taking your foot off the throttle it's like it briefly over-runs from the drivetrain before beginning to reduce speed? Could very well find that this is simply due to the way the dual mass flywheel behaves.
BMW E90 330i (M) '05 (His) | (Hers) BMW E46 320i f/l (M) '03