It's kind of a old Boeing versus Airbus fly-by-wire thing! I'd rather have full and direct control than a "moderated" second guessed control that evaluates all of your inputs! Computers are fast, but lack the subtle feel that we as humans have!
At the end of the day, I can get into any car and pretty much get used to the feel fairly quickly, but then takes a while for me to get used to my car again afterwards!
But from what you are experiencing with it lurching forward, doesn't sound right, or at least not quite what I am experiencing in general.
BMW E90 330i (M) '05 (His) | (Hers) BMW E46 320i f/l (M) '03