What sort of driving do you do? Mine became unbearable because I spend most of my time in town and I live in Sheffield so hill starts are frequent. Mine did start gradually too, it doesn't just appear. The most annoying thing is you start to try and drive around it which just stresses you out even more.
As far as the CDV is concerned I am quite sure it plays no part in the judder. I had mine out and then back in again, all it did was alter a characteristic of the gear change. That slight slipping does sound like the CDV doing it's job because I believe it's to stop the clutch just getting dumped.
As far as the 123d is concerned have a look babybmw.net They were discussing the clutch judder issue and unless I dreamed it I'm sure the 123d doesn't suffer.