So after wading through the overwhelmin replies on here (hohoho) I finally solved the issue.
So I have a July 2009 e90 lci with business nav, voice command and Bluetooth.
I have a Samsung galaxy s2 running android 4.1.1
The problem was that the phone would pair but no address list visible in the car. I today solved this by merging all my contacts in to one group on the phone.
Basically I've got all my contacts under my Exchange Account and stopped my LinkedIn, gmail and SIM contacts being present - it is not good enough to leave them there it won't work you can only have one account sync'ing contacts, well IMO and it works for me.
Now all my contact appear in the car screen including contacts with multiple numbers.
I hope this helps someone else! it's taken me a month to fix.