OK, so an update. I took the car to a suspension shop (they were kind enough to squeeze me in) and they confirmed theres nothing overtly wrong. I'll probably get an alignment next trip to BMW but there wasn't any reason to currently. So no alignment issues. Even Continental was disappointed to hear about the wear and are having me take the car to a Continental dealer to inspect the wear and potentially help me out. There is no tread life warranty on the DW tires.
Anyway, there you have it.