Originally Posted by mylydiamy
This is my recent experience and I wanted share it with everyone and get your opinion...
I started dating a Chinese girl (35) about 2 years ago. I was 42 at that time. She was divorced with 2 kids and I was going through my divorce at that time. Her parents were living with her too. At our first date we had a mutual agreement that we were NOT looking for a marriage. And we had never talked about it since then...
We were together for 2 years until a month ago. She was the love of my life and made me happier than I had ever. I loved her the same way and made her happy the same way. I can NOT say one negative thing about her. Her kids grew closer to me than their father. My daughter (17) loved her kids as if her own siblings. And her parents, especially her mother treated me very well.
It was all good until a month ago.... One day her mother cornered her and asked her when she was planning to get married with me. She told her that we had an agreement that we don't want to get remarried. But her mother didn't accept it and told her either to marry me or break up. She kept increasing the pressure and made her life miserable
After 3 weeks I realized that her mother wasn't gonna stop as it was getting worse each day. The pressure on my gf effected her and her kids that I had no choice but break up with her in order to save her from being completely miserable.
Last week I spoke to couple of Chinese people about my situation and this is what they told me : In Chinese tradition, it is the youngest sibling's responsibility to take care of the parents as long as they are alive. And this allows parents to control the life of that person as if he/she is a kid.
So my perfect relationship which I worked so hard to build was destroyed because her f***ing mother
Has anyone have experienced anything similar to mine? Does anyone know if this is really the way it woks in Chinese families?
Keep away from Chinese women that have a mother or father around which controls their lives
If her parents have passed away already then you will have half the headache but if her parents are around whether she be Chinese or Thai then you could be in for a big headache because when you marry her you just do not marry her but her family too and it is not just her that you have to take care of but her family as well. This slowly starts to kick in as the relationship progresses.
Once in a while you may get lucky and find a lady who is quite distant from her parents but if she is close and her mother is money hungry then you are in for some trouble. 20 years in Taiwan as an expat has shed quite a bit of light on these issues that are usually kept in the dark