OK, so here's an update.
So, the dealership did a software update and was all ready to give the car back to me (they said the ticking was the injectors). Then they finally heard the noise I was talking about (to my relief). They spent today diagnosing it (in contact with BMW from what I'm told), and said that the valve lifters are out of spec.
They've got new parts on order but it'll be into next week before they're done reparing and Q/C'ing it again.
Is this something that anyone has ever heard of happening before? Do we have any professional mechanics on this board by chance? I'm wondering at this point what possible long-term implications there might be. Any advice would be a huge help!
Also, Tykes22 mentioned a similar noise resulting from a low oil level. Could this be a factor in causing the noise in my case as well? Should I ask the dealer to drain the oil and measure how much is in there (The theory for that being that the oil sensor is faulty). I've got about 6100mi on my car.
Again, any advice you all could give would be greatly appreciated.