Man with unsightly hair to rear seeks fun loving, blonde, not too bright girl 18-22 for aerobatics, fast driving and dealing with somewhat fortuitous mid life crisis. Must have GSOH and no fear of death from air crash. If possible, should swallow to avoid ruining shared, bright red leather seats.
Apply H.Arse, Stansted. Texts with boobie pictures will take priority.
PS - this is not meant to read like I'm being a dick. Nice work!