Thanks for the advice and compliments guys!
I used Optimum Power Clean APC and some paper towels to wipe most of the crap away (engine bay has never been cleaned in 3 years), then used a combination of Einszett 1Z Deep Plastic Cleaner and CG Silk Shine Dressing & Protectant. Applied with a 33 cent sponge from Target, dressed with a $1 microfiber towel.
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