Yes, I'm pretty sure programming will activate the lights/buttons. Mine is plugged into the heater panel but no part of it works (yet.) I'm not sure about your question regarding being plugged into the heater panel (?) --- how else would it connect?!?
Yes - I got sport seat elements... looks a little like a hodge-podge of parts, but its all OEM and I think it'll work fine. I never checked the part numbers. I got it from the guy in the UK who comes/goes on ebay.. he's on right now again... I talked to him via email and he got the parts I needed. Sounds like he wasn't really pleased that I was doing it myself (he's in the installation business), but once he realized I was on the other side of the planet, he realized he wasn't really losing any business by supplying me parts. He really wanted to know how my install turned out and seemed to follow up a few times (although, I haven't installed it yet, so I have no news for him..) As I recall, I paid $600-700 US for all of it (oh, and a surprise $16 DHL/customs/duty bill a few months later)
This is the guy who I bought from...
Looks like these guys (who are normally pretty expensive), are selling a similar package:
(check the wiring location comment on this..)