Not a certified dealer either... I live I learn...
BMWNA has told me 82k is 82k and they aren't going to help me out on this one iota. That made me pretty angry but whatever, I knew I'd have to replace the turbos eventually, I just wasn't planning on doing it 250 miles after buying the car.
I'm still holding out hope that the turbos are only failing "low boost" because a flash tune is setting the reference level at like 15 psi instead of stock 8-9 psi and if I piggyback my ecu, run a lower boost, everything will be hunky dory.
At least that's my current (and last) hope...
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