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As a young child I dreamed of owning an Ultimate Driving Machine. I knew i had to have one. Its crazy cause its just by chance this happened... But I was in Detroit coming off a 3 day drunken coke binder and was walking around DTW airport after i just hit 167 dollars off the baccarat table at MGM. I was on top of the world and bought a one way ticket to Miami to visit my Mexican half brother who said he could get me a job "running hash on the lakeside". I didn't know what that meant, nor could i find any place in Miami called the lakeside who offered delivery service to submit an application too. But i figured...Hey! Ever since he got out of jail hes been a stand up guy so why not! So as i'm wandering around looking for my terminal I somehow strike up a conversation with a Syrian Monk waiting for his flight to Egypt. After he was describing the Church of the Holy Virgin, i was trying to tell him that his views and my views on holy virgins were different, and that when i picture my Jesus...he is wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. He found all of my revelations staggering and proceeded to convince me to further my studies with him. So i somehow boarded the plane and off to Egypt we went. The next few days were a blur since i was coming down from my high... but i somehow woke up in colorful sheets laying next to a camel with a broken nose and a zip lock bag with 2 of my teeth and 17 ounces of gold. Had no clue where i was so i asked siri where the closest airport was. Since my camels collar said "my name is siri" i was surprised to find out its not as informative as my iPhone back in the states, so i wandered to a residential area and finally found my way home. I ended up back in Miami to a pissed off brother in law. Come to find out since Florida is pending the legalizing of "hash" my bro-in-law was trying to get a leg up on the competition. So i used the gold i found on my adventures and some cash Ive earned to purchase my Alpine White 07 335i. Ive never regretted a moment since!
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