[bringsmewomen]

In the past, when I date girls, I'd have to be attracted to them. A lot of times, it doesn't work out. Recently, I'm trying to date new people outside of my comfort zone to see what it would be like. So now, I am dating this girl who has a lot going for her... She's an attorney, came from a good background, has good values, and we can talk for a long time. All of this is good obviously. But I'm not initially physically attracted to her. She's not an ugly girl. But just not my usual type.

I think I'm getting to the point where I realize that the physical aspects of someone is a smaller part of someone's persona. Sure, if a girl is smoking hot, you feel great to have her in your presence. But even then, after a period of time passes when you're in a relationship with her, her other attributes set in which become more important. I've had bad luck in relationships with good looking women. They tended to not have anything else huge to contribute. Usually their values weren't so great, or they weren't so smart, or they think because they're hot, they're more entitled to certain things or can get away with a lot more etc. I'm not saying this is all beautiful women, just the ones I've dated. Eventually, when these other factors turn you off, it strains the relationship and the physical part doesn't matter too much anymore. Plus dating a gorgeous girl is largely an ego driven thing. It's like saying "look at me, I can date a hot girl" which is kind of a bad reason to get serious with someone if things aren't wonderful with the person.

It's also possible that the really gorgeous girls are out of my league and they don't take the relationship seriously because they feel like they can always move onto the next. I dunno.

I also figure that someone who tends to be just ok in terms of looks, but is really cool will grow on you and then appear more attractive over time. Perception can change when you really enjoy someone's company I think...

I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Is being attracted to someone initially really important?