Quote:
Originally Posted by mike the snake
Dating a girl presently that has 2 kids, 5 and 10, and it is HARD! Kids always come first, can't do shit because 90% of everything involves the kids. Scheduling, what we watch on TV (can't even watch what I like even if it's in our room in case the kids walk in), what we eat, when we eat, and I'm the bad guy when the kids are gone (2 days every 2 weeks) and my schedule doesn't allow us to go out. It's getting old fast.
Double standard too, kids are used as the reason we can't do a lot of things, unless she wants to do it.
I could go on and on. I don't have kids, don't want any, they already have a daddy and I'm not going to take on the role, but I do love their mom so I'm hanging in there, for now.
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Dude - you're living the other part of this ugly equation. I really feel for you.
Women with kids usually announce to you right when you first meet them that you'll always be in second place to her kids which is really stupid if you think about it.
Those same kids are going to grow up and leave their momma someday - (at least that should be the goal). Momma's partner or signifigant other is supposed to be with her for much, much longer. As a parent, it's your job to teach the kids to be stable, responsible adults - not worship them as little idols and constantly try to be their best friend all the time. Constantly putting the kid's wants ahead of their partner's only creates resentment over time.
I'm not saying they shouldn't love their kids or do things for them when they need it - but so many of these single moms have their priorities so messed up that they're not really capable of being in a healthy relationship in the first place. When they tell you that their kids will always be their number one priority - they're basically telling you that you'll always come second to their whiny, manipulative litte demon seeds. Kids know this pecking order too - it works for them many times on their biological fathers so you can imagine the crap they get away with on their step dads.
There should never be a priority list or pecking order if these women are serious about starting a relationship with you. Their kids should never be ranked ahead of you because that just severely handicaps the relationship before it even starts. She needs to make enough room for you in her life too or it will never work.
Just my opinion.