Three turtles
Three turtles, Joe, Sam, and Raymond, decide to go on a picnic. So Joe
packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.
The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10
whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone's
exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes
out the sodas and says, 'Alright, Sam, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I
didn't bring the bottle opener,' Sam says. 'I thought you packed it.'
Joe gets worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle
opener?' Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck
ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Sam beg Raymond to turn
back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses, knowing that
they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. After about two hours,
the turtles manage to convince Raymond to go, swearing on their
great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Raymond
sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no
Raymond. Joe and Sam are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise.
Another day passes, and still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise.
After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Sam starts getting
restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.' Five more days pass. Joe realizes
that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner down the road, so the two
turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to
eat. But suddenly, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind
a rock, and says, 'I f**king knew it!!! I'm not going.'
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