Thread: Three turtles
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      04-06-2005, 03:40 AM   #1
a3ndy
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Three turtles

Three turtles, Joe, Sam, and Raymond, decide to go on a picnic. So Joe
packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches.

The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10

whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone's

exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes

out the sodas and says, 'Alright, Sam, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I

didn't bring the bottle opener,' Sam says. 'I thought you packed it.'

Joe gets worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle

opener?' Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck

ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Sam beg Raymond to turn

back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses, knowing that

they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. After about two hours,

the turtles manage to convince Raymond to go, swearing on their

great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch the food. So, Raymond

sets off down the road, slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no

Raymond. Joe and Sam are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise.

Another day passes, and still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise.

After three more days pass without Raymond in sight, Sam starts getting

restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.

'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We promised.' Five more days pass. Joe realizes

that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner down the road, so the two

turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to

eat. But suddenly, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from behind

a rock, and says, 'I f**king knew it!!! I'm not going.'
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