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You've come to the right place, there are plenty of knowledgeable folks that will help you. Here's some background that will help in the meantime: BMW started installing the Combox (hardware) in September of 2010 on 2011 models, and ConnectedDrive (software) started getting installed in March 2011. So, if by some fluke your car's manufacture date is outside those dates, that would explain the situation.
Assuming your car is the correct "vintage" (and therefore has the combox hardware), it sounds like it doesn't have the coding/programming for ConnectedDrive.
Since you bought this car new from the dealer, it is all on them to make sure the car has the options it was represented to have. I would put all the onus on them to get this straight - after all, it's a brand new car and it's not showing the options for which you paid!
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