View Single Post
      07-11-2012, 05:53 PM   #95
mike the snake
Captain
68
Rep
643
Posts

Drives: 135i
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Sonoma County, CA.

iTrader: (1)

Yep, I agree.

We went out for a year 11 years ago, she went from me to babies daddy and had her kids. Flash forward 10 years and we hook up again, things were good for a bit but slowly it has evolved into what it is now.
It's been a year, and I'm getting fed up with a LOT of things. Not to toot my horn, but I have treated her and her kids like royalty, everything of value in their house I bought. I used to get laid a lot, now it's almost a sexless relationship. She was the one instigating sex at first, now we can't do it because the kids are in the room next to us or she's too exhausted and too tired to do it. She's said "no" and shot me down so much I don't even try any more. I get sex when she wants it, which is almost never now.
I'm fed up with buying dinner, and having the kids not like the food even before they've tried it, and having no table manners, talking back, and just being rude and ungrateful, but I can't yell at them, or lay down rules, and at this point, it IS my role to do that.
They're her kids, and they have a daddy they see 2 days every 2 weeks, I don't want kids and don't want to be a daddy (unless it's MY kid, but at 45 that's unlikely). When I go to her place, I go to see her, not her AND her kids, but I'm in their life at this point and I'm not getting the respect or being treated the way I deserve..

One thing about her, she's a good girl, and loves me, and when I Have had enough, and threatened leaving unless she changed, she Has backed up and changed, so not all is lost, but soon here I'm going to lay some rules down (kids learning manners, more "us" time with the kids home, getting to watch shows that aren't for kids, set bedtimes for the kids) that she's not going to like, and I'm not sure she'll go for it, at which point I'm going to leave. I've been unhappy in this relationship for a while now, and as I write this, I'm getting closer to bailing unless things change.


Quote:
Originally Posted by JLee83 View Post
Dude - you're living the other part of this ugly equation. I really feel for you.

Women with kids usually announce to you right when you first meet them that you'll always be in second place to her kids which is really stupid if you think about it.

Those same kids are going to grow up and leave their momma someday - (at least that should be the goal). Momma's partner or signifigant other is supposed to be with her for much, much longer. As a parent, it's your job to teach the kids to be stable, responsible adults - not worship them as little idols and constantly try to be their best friend all the time. Constantly putting the kid's wants ahead of their partner's only creates resentment over time.

I'm not saying they shouldn't love their kids or do things for them when they need it - but so many of these single moms have their priorities so messed up that they're not really capable of being in a healthy relationship in the first place. When they tell you that their kids will always be their number one priority - they're basically telling you that you'll always come second to their whiny, manipulative litte demon seeds. Kids know this pecking order too - it works for them many times on their biological fathers so you can imagine the crap they get away with on their step dads.

There should never be a priority list or pecking order if these women are serious about starting a relationship with you. Their kids should never be ranked ahead of you because that just severely handicaps the relationship before it even starts. She needs to make enough room for you in her life too or it will never work.

Just my opinion.
Appreciate 0