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I hear you loud and clear
If your wife still drives the BMW I wouldn't get new rims until it isn't 'our' car any more, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Bang, scrape, rub..
Get her a car she likes, personalize a 'her's' license plate for it, give her the parking spot closer to the door, keep it clean and shiny, anything you can do before you get 'your' car back in order.
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