Thanks rodi (for not being too harsh).
Your first point in framing is new to me. I didn't realize that. I'll play around with some more cropping and compositional aspects in my other photos and see if that observation of yours holds. I agree with your posture comments though. I thought about it the same way, that she's far too hunched over.
So, I guess I didn't completely blow it, and it was a decent first try? If you don't mind, and if you can spare a couple more minutes of your time, can you comment on a couple others from the same shoot? I can PM you the photos if you want.