Quote:
Originally Posted by bosster hymen
tough situation but sounds typical asian... huge power distances and it's all about respect. though the daughter (your gf) should push back a little (i.e. "when you permit, you promote").
i would say i have become very american through the years, and my parents (and their relatives/friends) still try to pull that old asian b.s. from time to time. it's a mental game: talking down at you like you're a child/bum/crazy, guilt trips, covert aggression... i'm on top of it though. the working mantra is: whatever, they're old (mental image of abe simpson).
it's probably not your place to tell her to push back, but that's what i would say.
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I told her to push back and she tried...But it didn't work. Her mother is a total nut case and kept making her life miserable which in return prevented us to be happy
So the best thing to do was to walk away...which I did...
It is a shame that such a wonderful relation involving 5 people (me, my gf, her 2 kids and my daughter) was ruined because of a sick person...
I hope everyone who read this thread and in my situation (dating a Chinese who lives with her parents) would learn from my experience and others' inputs and either avoid it or set the rules in advance...