Get one of these
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I think it actually calls out for an 86.5mm filter socket, but I have two different 86mm ones that fit perfectly. I always hand tighten, nothing crazy for torque and this last oil change, I could not budge the cap. Drove to harbor freight and got an adjustable filter cap removal'tool that just sucked and didn't work. Helped a friend before with his stuck cap, using a strap wrench and after much trouble we got the cap off, but I didn't like how it added pressure and looked like it could crack the cap. So ordered what linked on amazon with free shipping for less than $10 and then found out that pep boys had one on hand I could get that day, so I did. Pepboys had this one
http://www.amazon.com/CTA-Tools-A261...ref=pd_cp_hi_0
Cheaply version and was $5.99 at the store. Right tool for the job and worked fine.
I use Castro 0w30 long life approved. I usually buy for 3 oil changes worth whenever there is a good sale on it and look to restock when I am down to one oil change worth and of course when it is on sale.