NorCal and SoCal are both amazing places to live in. I've lived in both and frequently visit SoCal. I would suggest like another member did, come out here and visit both places and see which suits you best. This is a big move and you don't want to regret moving to somewhere you might not enjoy.
As for the scene, I think you're referring to cars. LOL. SoCal is definitely stronger and has some great quality as compared to NorCal. They have more frequent meets that you can attend as well. If you're referring to night life, both are comparable and have their pros and cons.
As for the Economy, it will vary from place to place. If you want a place in NorCal near or around the Silicon Valley, expect to pay a lot even for a simple apartment. There are places that are affordable and in a nice area though, you just need to find them. I can't comment on SoCal's state of economy but hopefully someone will be able to chime in for you.
My advice is to take some time off and come out two both places with your wife. Visit different places and check out the markets in both regions to see which meets your needs or expectations more. I'm sure some if not most of the members are down to meet up and show you around.
Best of luck and hopefully we'll see you out here soon!
-Marvin