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      03-06-2012, 08:48 PM   #177
Chris.G
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pavo335 View Post
geez what do they teach you kids these days. I thought it was obvious
Well pavcock, Latin was definitely not my forte.
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      03-06-2012, 09:08 PM   #178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris.G View Post
Well pavcock, Latin was definitely not my forte.
I forget you young fellas only use the internet for porn (and the odd car forum). Which explains why everyone voted for labor, to get faster downloaded porn via the nbn
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      03-06-2012, 09:17 PM   #179
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That is such a samantha thing to say.
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      08-27-2012, 08:55 PM   #180
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Thread dig:

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,
" the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large
as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."
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      08-21-2013, 10:39 PM   #181
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Drowning in Brisbane

Brisbane Police reported finding a man's body floating in the Brisbane River, near the Story Bridge. The man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.

The victim apparently drowned due to excess alcohol consumption, combined with a drug overdose. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a “Rudd for PM in 2010” t-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum.


Police removed the Rudd t-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
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      08-28-2013, 10:04 PM   #182
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A mate just forwarded me this... Don't know if it's already done the rounds, but I had a good laugh!

************
Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.
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      08-28-2013, 10:18 PM   #183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemballa1980 View Post
A mate just forwarded me this... Don't know if it's already done the rounds, but I had a good laugh!

************
Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.
put some sugar in the petrol tank it'll dissolve the left over sand and she'll be right as rain
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