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      07-31-2008, 05:14 PM   #45
Steve A
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when i was 15 we stayed over at a freinds house whos parents were loaded. they were away for the night.

as i was searching the place for hidden booze/drugs i stumbled across a huge stash of dildos, a light went on in my mind and i decided to melt the end of the dilds with a lighter and proceeded to stick them to the mothers bedroom wall........there was about 20 didos stuck to the wall

as you can imagine the parents were not happy.
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      07-31-2008, 05:18 PM   #46
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Excellent chaps.

Anyone ever killed a dartmoor pony while on the Duke of Edinburghs gold award beacuse they were told to use initiative when hungry?

Or accidentally thrown a handful of sperm over a toilet cubicle in France on a school trip and then run away but laughed so much that a massive Frenchman caught up with you and punched you hard enough in the head to make your ears ring for about 3 hours?
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      07-31-2008, 05:21 PM   #47
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went out with an old pal i was about 18. we got bladdered and decided to neck some tamazis, this turned into a riot.

We were staying at bens house (rich kid mums a school head teacher dad owns computer business)

we decided to nick every for sale sign on the way home and put them in bens front garden ( not a great idea ill admit)

as we were doing it we were obvoiusly laughing our cocks off and making noise, ben decides he needs a shit and i convince him his own front door step is a perfectly reasonable place to shit.....

as he is in the process of shiiting on his own doorstep the lights came on in the house ....oh no i thought and the front door was opened by his mum in a nighty first looked at me then the 30 or forsale sighns in her garden then down to her son bollocksed on the doorstep full of shit

i got blamed for the whole malarky and was never allowed in the house again....
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      07-31-2008, 05:29 PM   #48
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I think an E90 post bender is in order.
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      07-31-2008, 05:34 PM   #49
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Quote:
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I think an E90 post bender is in order.

i thought there was a bender on the forum
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      07-31-2008, 05:36 PM   #50
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This is going to sound terrible but here goes!

A few months ago I went out in Nottingham with some friends, one of my friends et some friends of friends when we were out, now as the night progressed, I being my usual up for a party, a dance, a laugh, some fun self Suggested we go to a club later, we were all walking down to a "warm up" place and I just could help myself commenting how one of the friends of friends was just so fat and ugly (she was about a Size 20 I kid you not) and how she should go on a diet.

My best friend (who happens to be bi) commented that one of the other friends looked like Dita Von Teese and that she love to take her home and have a threesome with "Dita" and her boy friend, anyway this went on and on and on, into the night.

I was a bit smashed and announced to "Dita" that my friend would love to take her home with her and had big plans for her, hoped that she would be a professional submissive just like her Alter Ego!
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      08-01-2008, 07:44 AM   #51
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Brilliant thread, well done Neil!

Worse thing I did drunk was jump in a shopping trolley walking home from the student union (we've all done it) with a traffic sign in it that I dislodged from the ground and proceeded to drive it down the hill of a dual carriageway until it flipped having hit the curb. God knows how I got home but I woke up covered in bloody cuts everywhere and lots of gravel stuck in my wounds too...

No animals or sexual activities were involved in the making of this stunt.

No one was impressed apart from me...

I still do this every other Friday
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      08-01-2008, 11:31 AM   #52
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Porscha, that was a shit story. If you had puked on your Bi friends tits, that would have been excellent.

You can however redeem yourself, by giving very detailed information about your Bi friend.

And the availablity of dvd realated material available for a group "Bi"

P.S. is it actually possible to go out in Nottingham without being shot in the face by a drug crazed loony?
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      08-01-2008, 01:29 PM   #53
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No stories to share I am afraid but really enjoying reading all of yours
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      08-01-2008, 03:04 PM   #54
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Right, some of you have met my mate will.

He once was staying at Fandango towers (the first edition) and we came home from the pub smashed to bits.


He was sleeping on the floor in my room. I turned the light out and heard a sicky belch.

I turned the late on and Will had sick on his cheek. I got him to the toilet and left him there and went back to bed,

Woke up some time later , turned light on to see if he had made it back to bed alright and he was slumped by the toilet. I told him to come back when he felt better.

In the morning, my mother STEAM IN SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF wanting to knowwho threw up my corridor wall upto my room.


It was will, he spewed all up my hallway wall on the way back to my bedroom...

Mum made us clean it up, YUCK
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      08-01-2008, 03:17 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neilmc View Post
Porscha, that was a shit story. If you had puked on your Bi friends tits, that would have been excellent.

You can however redeem yourself, by giving very detailed information about your Bi friend.

And the availablity of dvd realated material available for a group "Bi"

P.S. is it actually possible to go out in Nottingham without being shot in the face by a drug crazed loony?
ROFL!

Well I've survived to tell the Nottingham tale ...
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      08-01-2008, 03:22 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dxb335d View Post
Right, some of you have met my mate will.

He once was staying at Fandango towers (the first edition) and we came home from the pub smashed to bits.


He was sleeping on the floor in my room. I turned the light out and heard a sicky belch.

I turned the late on and Will had sick on his cheek. I got him to the toilet and left him there and went back to bed,

Woke up some time later , turned light on to see if he had made it back to bed alright and he was slumped by the toilet. I told him to come back when he felt better.

In the morning, my mother STEAM IN SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF wanting to knowwho threw up my corridor wall upto my room.


It was will, he spewed all up my hallway wall on the way back to my bedroom...

Mum made us clean it up, YUCK
Tell the truth Carlos, he was sick after noshing you off
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      08-03-2008, 07:08 PM   #57
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stacked a bunch of recylbing bins in a pyramid formation in a residential area, and then plowed into it with my friends truck. with his consent of course.

and then cops came and we got arrested. too tired to run so sat down lol.

the end.
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      08-05-2008, 03:13 PM   #58
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Viv`s gonna have a fit when he sees this thread.

A guy I worked with from N.I. "bumped" into one wearing just a nightie after staggering out of the hotel to get some **** at about 4 am (she`d obviously escaped) and proceeded to take her back to the hotel and educate her.

Looking back now, it seems outrageous but hillarious at the time.
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I think you will like it, it is actually unisex. Have always worn it since I was about 16. You may have trouble finding it, try a big department store like house of fraser, or get a sample from ebay.

mikem that is brilliant, that man deserves a round of applause. What does he do for an encore? shag his nan? toss off a tramp? take advantage of his mum when she's drunk to get himself a little brother.....

Come on Viv, we are trying hard.
Neil & Mike, you've put a smile on my face.

Viv
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