[i dunno]

Originally Posted by mylydiamy

I hope everyone who read this thread and in my situation (dating a Chinese who lives with her parents) would learn from my experience and others' inputs and either avoid it or set the rules in advance...

Just approach each situation individually. Not all Chinese families are like this.

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by i dunno

Just approach each situation individually. Not all Chinese families are like this.

Agree but most are still living in 12th century

[i dunno]

Originally Posted by mylydiamy

Agree but most are still living in 12th century

I'd say that your situation was an extreme case. Don't let your singular experience make you prejudge many other welcoming Chinese families.

[turbolag]

Originally Posted by m_sung

get a 18 year old Chinese girl

Shut the fuck up. Stop being a little entitled shit, and pull your fucking spoiled head out of your arsehole. Then, get the hell out of OT, because you're a terrible troll.

He's 44...

[bimmerfrk]

Originally Posted by m_sung

get a 18 year old Chinese girl

This poster sound like such a looser in all his posts its not even worth the keystrokes but I digress


I agree with previous posters. China lacks authenticity, show me one thing that china has invented that's authentic and new to the world. They are a society of copy cats the utilize mass amounts of volume selling. Not saying that their society is wrong but their impersonation of capitalism is simply a pure rip of products from successful companies founded outside their nation.

Have you guys not heard of how much network compromising is going on in fortune 100 companies from America. China is trying to get as much American corporate data as it can. Why? So it can obtain significant data and can make generic products from those that America other countries have invented.

[amanda hor$t]

Originally Posted by bimmerfrk

This poster sound like such a looser in all his posts its not even worth the keystrokes but I digress


I agree with previous posters. China lacks authenticity, show me one thing that china has invented that's authentic and new to the world. They are a society of copy cats the utilize mass amounts of volume selling. Not saying that their society is wrong but their impersonation of capitalism is simply a pure rip of products from successful companies founded outside their nation.

Have you guys not heard of how much network compromising is going on in fortune 100 companies from America. China is trying to get as much American corporate data as it can. Why? So it can obtain significant data and can make generic products from those that America other countries have invented.

china's doing a lot with stem cells, genetic engineering (e.g. chimera species), stuff that's unsupported (maybe even illegal) here. and in their view, pirating intellectual property is simply payback for centuries of western colonization. let's not forget, before the western powers barged in, china was the richest empire on the planet. of course it sounds like a b.s. excuse to the west, but to them, it's payback. putting the shoe in the other foot, your rant would be akin to saying "all america does is bomb others"

now i don't support the commies, after all, my ancestors were rich in old china and had to flee when mao took over. but that's what it is. at least they aren't forcing us to smoke crack.

btw, china invented gunpowder, guns/artillery, paper and paper money. i'm reminded of the days when europe made cheap knock offs of china (as in the pottery) and chinese silk. everyone gets their turn.

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by bimmerfrk

This poster sound like such a looser in all his posts its not even worth the keystrokes but I digress


I agree with previous posters. China lacks authenticity, show me one thing that china has invented that's authentic and new to the world. They are a society of copy cats the utilize mass amounts of volume selling. Not saying that their society is wrong but their impersonation of capitalism is simply a pure rip of products from successful companies founded outside their nation.

Have you guys not heard of how much network compromising is going on in fortune 100 companies from America. China is trying to get as much American corporate data as it can. Why? So it can obtain significant data and can make generic products from those that America other countries have invented.

I don't understand your point....This thread is about Chinese culture and its effects on relationships....It has nothing to do with inventions, authenticity or any other thing you mentioned....

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by amanda hor$t

tough situation but sounds typical asian... huge power distances and it's all about respect. though the daughter (your gf) should push back a little (i.e. "when you permit, you promote").

i would say i have become very american through the years, and my parents (and their relatives/friends) still try to pull that old asian b.s. from time to time. it's a mental game: talking down at you like you're a child/bum/crazy, guilt trips, covert aggression... i'm on top of it though. the working mantra is: whatever, they're old (mental image of abe simpson).

it's probably not your place to tell her to push back, but that's what i would say.

Thanks for your honest and unbiased observation

[jwhhjr]

Asian checking in.

I thought it was the oldest child's responsibility to take care of parents.

[Who?]

yes, in asian culture its not uncommon for the eldest SON to take care of the family (never heard of anyone taking care of the wife's family)

this is one of the reasons the elder son usually gets more inheritance money.

if they are exceedingly wealthy, id play the game and consider it an investment

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by i dunno

I'd say that your situation was an extreme case. Don't let your singular experience make you prejudge many other welcoming Chinese families.

You are right. I said it because I had a bad experience

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by SJ00

yes, in asian culture its not uncommon for the eldest SON to take care of the family (never heard of anyone taking care of the wife's family)

this is one of the reasons the elder son usually gets more inheritance money.

if they are exceedingly wealthy, id play the game and consider it an investment

I wish that was the case but it is not...

[amanda hor$t]

Originally Posted by SJ00

yes, in asian culture its not uncommon for the eldest SON to take care of the family (never heard of anyone taking care of the wife's family)

i know of at least two guys who are feeding their in laws (i.e. gettin' macked hard)

[mylydiamy]

Originally Posted by amanda hor$t

i know of at least two guys who are feeding their in laws (i.e. gettin' macked hard)

I feel sorry for them

Tell them to get out it before they ruin their life...

[kevinbahnz]

I've been with my wife since 2006 the only time i've sent money overseas is for Xmas a holiday they dont even celebrate. lolz.

[stylinexpat]

Originally Posted by mylydiamy

This is my recent experience and I wanted share it with everyone and get your opinion...

I started dating a Chinese girl (35) about 2 years ago. I was 42 at that time. She was divorced with 2 kids and I was going through my divorce at that time. Her parents were living with her too. At our first date we had a mutual agreement that we were NOT looking for a marriage. And we had never talked about it since then...

We were together for 2 years until a month ago. She was the love of my life and made me happier than I had ever. I loved her the same way and made her happy the same way. I can NOT say one negative thing about her. Her kids grew closer to me than their father. My daughter (17) loved her kids as if her own siblings. And her parents, especially her mother treated me very well.

It was all good until a month ago.... One day her mother cornered her and asked her when she was planning to get married with me. She told her that we had an agreement that we don't want to get remarried. But her mother didn't accept it and told her either to marry me or break up. She kept increasing the pressure and made her life miserable

After 3 weeks I realized that her mother wasn't gonna stop as it was getting worse each day. The pressure on my gf effected her and her kids that I had no choice but break up with her in order to save her from being completely miserable.

Last week I spoke to couple of Chinese people about my situation and this is what they told me : In Chinese tradition, it is the youngest sibling's responsibility to take care of the parents as long as they are alive. And this allows parents to control the life of that person as if he/she is a kid.

So my perfect relationship which I worked so hard to build was destroyed because her f***ing mother

Has anyone have experienced anything similar to mine? Does anyone know if this is really the way it woks in Chinese families?

Thanks

Keep away from Chinese women that have a mother or father around which controls their lives If her parents have passed away already then you will have half the headache but if her parents are around whether she be Chinese or Thai then you could be in for a big headache because when you marry her you just do not marry her but her family too and it is not just her that you have to take care of but her family as well. This slowly starts to kick in as the relationship progresses.

Once in a while you may get lucky and find a lady who is quite distant from her parents but if she is close and her mother is money hungry then you are in for some trouble. 20 years in Taiwan as an expat has shed quite a bit of light on these issues that are usually kept in the dark

[dreamingat30fps]

Maybe you should just lay off the asian punani for a while. You've obviously not had much luck with it.

[pradeep oza]

Originally Posted by stylinexpat

Keep away from Chinese women that have a mother or father around which controls their lives If her parents have passed away already then you will have half the headache but if her parents are around whether she be Chinese or Thai then you could be in for a big headache because when you marry her you just do not marry her but her family too and it is not just her that you have to take care of but her family as well. This slowly starts to kick in as the relationship progresses.

Once in a while you may get lucky and find a lady who is quite distant from her parents but if she is close and her mother is money hungry then you are in for some trouble. 20 years in Taiwan as an expat has shed quite a bit of light on these issues that are usually kept in the dark

do you have something in your eye? i know a great optometrist

[stylinexpat]

Originally Posted by pradeep oza

do you have something in your eye? i know a great optometrist

No,lol.. But I can see from your picture that you have already seen an optometrist.

[Billup]

Originally Posted by stylinexpat

No,lol.. But I can see from your picture that you have already seen an optometrist.

[TrevorM3]

Originally Posted by stylinexpat

No,lol.. But I can see from your picture that you have already seen an optometrist.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by stylinexpat

No,lol.. But I can see from your picture that you have already seen an optometrist.

lol, the troll got banned for being a tool, kind of like hymen.