[bumere90]

In Soviet Russia, you keep the BMW, and sell your Wife.

[techietaichi]

Glad my old lady would never ask for something so absurd. Sell my bimmer?! You're out of your mind!

[racermp]

Got married in 09. Purchased a 05 4runner loaded for my wife. When i was almost paid off last yr, purchased a 06 330i 6spd for my self. Both cars made Both happy.

First wanted to make the family happy. Then my self. Its a car in the end of the day. A life is more precious. There's always a compromise. Don't have to sacrifice everything

[NorthernCAE90]

Originally Posted by bumere90

In Soviet Russia, you keep the BMW, and sell your Wife.

LMAO

[sid21177]

Originally Posted by fistofsouth

Funny the wife and I have raised two children (ages 17 and 19) and never had any vehicle bigger than a VW Jetta. We have also never owned a vehicle with an automatic transmission. I really don't understand why people think they need a Van or a Station Wagon or even a sedan just because they have kids. A family of four fits in a 2+2 just fine and you get to enjoy the drive.

+1

I've heard arguments as to how a van/SUV fits more stuff. Thats an excuse to be disorganized and dump "everything" into your vehicle

[melloww22]

Originally Posted by sid21177

I've heard arguments as to how a van/SUV fits more stuff. Thats an excuse to be disorganized and dump "everything" into your vehicle

+1

in my case I bought my wife an SUV... their was mention of a VAN at one point but once we saw how huge they are, we decided an SUV of equal or less size was able to go carry similar cargo (camping gear, our two huskies, and our two young kids) while giving us greater off road capability and comfort...

[Meeni]

Originally Posted by williamf

For me "For Better or Worse" means accepting my mates imperfect humanity, as she does mine. We both try to be better people via our conscious Will and help from the divine. When we fail, we do our best to forgive. Marriage is hard, but worth it.

While I agree with the general idea (and the rest of your unquoted touching story), I also have a word of caution. You both do this, this is good marriage that will last. But if you are the only one making deals, this is not normal (not saying this for you in particular, but to some before, in this thread, that implied that when you are married you have to make sacrifices, like this is normal to be the looser, and other lines that are often heard about how women direct life at home on all subjects).

Your wife should also understand that there are thing that make you happy, and she should understand that she should not mess with it, even if -she- finds it unimportant or stupid (just like I may find stupid to have 20 pairs of shoes, when you have 2 feet anyway, but if that makes her happy, it's ok). For some of us, it is driving a car that is slightly more expensive than necessary.

I would not lump myself in a minivan (or an SUV for that matter). If my wife insisted on making my life devoid of any fun by breaking my balls constantly, playing mind games etc, to make me do what I do not want to do, I would seriously reconsider if we should continue together. Not because I am an entitled teenager that do not understand life and cannot give up his toys (honestly I could, I had crap cars in the past, that was ok, if not fun). All the contrary, because I am getting older everyday, and there is nothing I would dread more than a confrontational relationship. It would not make me happy to be treated like a child that needs his mom to tell him what to do, that would irritate me more than is tolerable. This, having a wife that is bossy, is the real issue. If what you live doesn't make you happy, it is a waste of valuable life time.

Now, my wife is perfect, she completely understands my odd needs, I understand hers. We are both reasonable persons, in general, and we manage our "shopping spree" so that they do not go overboard budget-wise. What we overspend on what makes us tick, we save on what we care less about. Always being reasonable would be blend and boring, wouldn't it ? And what would be even more would be to be castrated by mom-wife.

[Teufel_Hunden]

Originally Posted by nightops

I bet this'll change at some point...getting an alternate vehicle to accommodate a growing family is not being a sissy- its an acceptance of responsibilities. Being forced to sell a car that is practical for a loss is a sort of castration, these things should be discussed between spouses to find the best financial and practical solution. One never gains by selling a vehicle though..

I showed my wife this thread and she agreed that men who cave-in to their wives over a damn car are pussies. She told me she would never make me get rid of what I want to drive for a minivan - and yes we have 2 kids and our other car is an ML350.

See fellas, this is what it's all about. Having a wife who respects who you are and won't manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do.

So you can keep on handing out your touchy-feely, hug me and tell me you care about me bullshit. Save that shit for when you're lying on the couch crying to Dr. Phil.

[Teufel_Hunden]

[QUOTE=nightops]

Originally Posted by sgm335i

I'd get a fucking divorce before I'd drive a minivan. Being a castrated, thumb-sucking sissy man is not an option.

Just sayin'...

[QUOTE=nightops]

Originally Posted by sgm335i

I bet this'll change at some point...getting an alternate vehicle to accommodate a growing family is not being a sissy- its an acceptance of responsibilities. Being forced to sell a car that is practical for a loss is a sort of castration, these things should be discussed between spouses to find the best financial and practical solution. One never gains by selling a vehicle though..

I showed my wife this thread and she agreed that men who cave-in to their wives over a damn car are pussies. She told me she would never make me get rid of what I want to drive for a minivan - and yes we have 2 kids and our other car is an ML350.

See fellas, this is what it's all about. Having a wife who respects who you are and won't manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do.

So you can keep on handing out your touchy-feely, hug me and tell me you care about me bullshit. Save that shit for when you're lying on the couch crying to Dr. Phil.

[lowcash_dreamcar]

I haven't posted anything on this forum for years, though I have been trolling the forum almost every other day

But THIS thread deserved something from me to

Well, we are expecting our first kid and my wife has time and again objected to my idea of selling my e92 for a more practical family car. I was ready for the compromise but she knew and understood how much I liked driving that car without me ever showing her I will be disappointed if we sell it Instead she wants to sell her Mitsubishi Galant and get an Audi, Bimmer or Infiniti made SUV!!! She wants to join in on the fun!

If you are wondering why we wouldn't use the Galant as our family car, it is because its too light to be safe and guzzles gas like a V8! hardly get close to 20 mpg. Still drives a little sporty though :-)

As far as OP is concerned, he is still recovering from the loss of a dear car he loved , but is sensible & mature to handle this incident diplomatically cos' whether you owned a bimmer or not in the past, people cannot go around damaging cars in a parking lot and not have the courtesy to acknowledge the mistake.

Well, I guess that's what is tough to find these days, HONEST and MORAL beings among us anymore

[williamf]

Originally Posted by Meeni

While I agree with the general idea (and the rest of your unquoted touching story), I also have a word of caution. You both do this, this is good marriage that will last. But if you are the only one making deals, this is not normal (not saying this for you in particular, but to some before, in this thread, that implied that when you are married you have to make sacrifices, like this is normal to be the looser, and other lines that are often heard about how women direct life at home on all subjects).

Your wife should also understand that there are thing that make you happy, and she should understand that she should not mess with it, even if -she- finds it unimportant or stupid (just like I may find stupid to have 20 pairs of shoes, when you have 2 feet anyway, but if that makes her happy, it's ok). For some of us, it is driving a car that is slightly more expensive than necessary.

I would not lump myself in a minivan (or an SUV for that matter). If my wife insisted on making my life devoid of any fun by breaking my balls constantly, playing mind games etc, to make me do what I do not want to do, I would seriously reconsider if we should continue together. Not because I am an entitled teenager that do not understand life and cannot give up his toys (honestly I could, I had crap cars in the past, that was ok, if not fun). All the contrary, because I am getting older everyday, and there is nothing I would dread more than a confrontational relationship. It would not make me happy to be treated like a child that needs his mom to tell him what to do, that would irritate me more than is tolerable. This, having a wife that is bossy, is the real issue. If what you live doesn't make you happy, it is a waste of valuable life time.

Now, my wife is perfect, she completely understands my odd needs, I understand hers. We are both reasonable persons, in general, and we manage our "shopping spree" so that they do not go overboard budget-wise. What we overspend on what makes us tick, we save on what we care less about. Always being reasonable would be blend and boring, wouldn't it ? And what would be even more would be to be castrated by mom-wife.

Overall I agree with your sentiments. As a general statement it is far more desirable to have a mate who "gets you" on most, if not all levels. Furthermore, a lot can be done during the selection phase to find a highly compatible mate. BUT this is a separate issue from the question I was reflecting on. That question is "should you dump your mate because she insists that you sell your beloved car." Or more generally "should you dump your mate when she does something that you find to be extreme / ridiculous / unconscionable?"

My answer to this question is "No you should not dump your mate." It is a foolish belief to think that in a 50+ year marriage that anyone will live up to the standard of "acting reasonably" the whole time. We are all F****ed up people. That is not going to change. Sometimes we go off the deep end and then come back to our senses. Sometime we are insensitive and ask our mate to sell a beloved car. These are not reasons for divorce (throwing and breaking things maybe)! These are areas for personal growth.

Two points: If you consider yourself an honest person, then honor the vows you took. You said "for better and for worse." It is definitely for worse if your mate wants you to sell your car! If you cannot do this, then accept the fact that you are not an honest person and try to work on that.

Second: If you believe a marriage is more than a social contract, then it is important to realize that the here and now is only the tip of the iceberg. I believe my life and marriage transcends time and space. I am not called to be married for a few years, or while it is convenient. I am called to be married for eternity. I believe in this life, my marriage will never be perfect, but somewhere in all of eternity it will be perfected and it will be one of the most amazing things ever.

I stated several "ifs". I am not interested in debating whether or not marriage is a social contract or if there is an eternity. If you don't think there is, then we are not on the same page, but if you agree with my assumptions, then I encourage you to wrestle with these concepts and I am sure you will find TRUTH and in the areas that you fail, you will find grace.

I am not a minister or a zealot. I am just a guy who has made a full circle and realized that there was great truth in the things that I was taught as a kid and then forgot and then relearned.

[nightops]

[QUOTE=sgm335i;14076834][QUOTE=nightops]

Originally Posted by nightops

I showed my wife this thread and she agreed that men who cave-in to their wives over a damn car are pussies. She told me she would never make me get rid of what I want to drive for a minivan - and yes we have 2 kids and our other car is an ML350.

See fellas, this is what it's all about. Having a wife who respects who you are and won't manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do.

So you can keep on handing out your touchy-feely, hug me and tell me you care about me bullshit. Save that shit for when you're lying on the couch crying to Dr. Phil.

So you're saying you don't like minivans?

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Game

Sell your wife.

lol

[Revlis]

Originally Posted by williamf

Thats why God invented 2 car garages! One car for her (Mini-Van), one car for you and her (insert preference here).

Yup... WTF. Minivan... sad sad state of affairs. Dinged minivan, meh, why sweat it, the kids will do far worse in short order.

[Revlis]

Originally Posted by ken1137

Some people are dicks plain and simple. Hope he gets what coming to him.

My compromise...I had to sell my 135 b/c of the wife. She hated it...too loud, too much torque, too low, and tinted windows. So, i bought another BMW and I'll buy another one if she complains again I've had 6 cars in the last 8 yrs so I think she has finally learned her lesson, but I have been leaving pics of the F10 M5 all over the house just in case

Yeah this is where it's all wrong. This isn't part of compromise unless you are sharing cars with the wife, she has hers, you have yours. What she thinks about it just doesn't matter, it's a non-issue or at least should be. If not, it may be time for the "boundries" discussion.

Nice cycling though, 6 in 8 is moving through them pretty well.

[ken1137]

Originally Posted by Revlis

Yeah this is where it's all wrong. This isn't part of compromise unless you are sharing cars with the wife, she has hers, you have yours. What she thinks about it just doesn't matter, it's a non-issue or at least should be. If not, it may be time for the "boundries" discussion.

Nice cycling though, 6 in 8 is moving through them pretty well.

HaHa...thx. I put my foot down with my gun collection (she has no say whatsoever) so there is compromise in other aspects and areas of our marriage

[Revlis]

Originally Posted by ken1137

HaHa...thx. I put my foot down with my gun collection (she has no say whatsoever) so there is compromise in other aspects and areas of our marriage

Ah yes, I've found with firearms though that they just aren't paying close enough attention. I've added 5 over the last year, the wife has seen each and every one of them, almost certain she thinks they are all the same rifle or pistol. It wasn't till I was talking about another safe that her eyebrow raised. She had no idea the one was pretty much full.

Bikes, guns, cars, and cameras. Not a cheap hobby in the bunch, lots of raised eyebrows. I'm largely left to my own devices, but there is of course the budget reality, and that is discussed certainly. I ignore it, but it was discussed.

[pup73]

Originally Posted by Revlis

Ah yes, I've found with firearms though that they just aren't paying close enough attention. I've added 5 over the last year, the wife has seen each and every one of them, almost certain she thinks they are all the same rifle or pistol. It wasn't till I was talking about another safe that her eyebrow raised. She had no idea the one was pretty much full.

Bikes, guns, cars, and cameras. Not a cheap hobby in the bunch, lots of raised eyebrows. I'm largely left to my own devices, but there is of course the budget reality, and that is discussed certainly. I ignore it, but it was discussed.

cameras? great hobby. and expensive. what do you shoot?

can i get even more off topic for a minute? why is there such a horrid aversion to minivans? i guess i'm in the minority, but i WANT a minivan. my wife doesn't. that's why we have an SUV. IMHO, SUV's are pointless. yeah these days you can argue that crossovers are quicker and more agile than ever, but really, what's the point? i see them as a compromise. more expensive, less efficient, less practical than a minivan. heavier, slower and not as fun to drive as a car. who here genuinely enjoys driving an SUV? do you really think you're cool driving an SUV? i don't. every time i drive our MDX i just wanna get back in my other cars. if you must be hauling cargo or people or kids, why not do it in the most comfortable, efficient and practical way possible? that IMO, would be a minivan. there's no pretense with a minivan. there's NO cool factor. they are what they are.

why do i want an minivan? mainly because i will rarely drive it but when i do, and i want to load up the kids and all their junk, what do i do? i push a button, and all the doors freakin slide open for me, and the kids get in themselves. if i don't want to watch them at ballet or soccer, i sit in the reclining seats in the back and watch a movie, or play video games (i've done that in the mdx, but its not comfy with two car seats already there). sure i have two car seats in my e90, but i really don't drive my kids in it. you know why? kids are MESSY. minivans are made to collect crap. that's why the new odyssey has a BUILT IN vacuum as an option.

marriage is a compromise. i get to keep my two two seaters and the e90, she gets an SUV over a minivan. that way she gets to keep her too cool for a minivan suburban mom image, while struggling to get two kids packed up in her SUV.

-c

[Revlis]

Originally Posted by pup73

cameras? great hobby. and expensive. what do you shoot?

can i get even more off topic for a minute? why is there such a horrid aversion to minivans? i guess i'm in the minority, but i WANT a minivan. my wife doesn't. that's why we have an SUV. IMHO, SUV's are pointless. yeah these days you can argue that crossovers are quicker and more agile than ever, but really, what's the point? i see them as a compromise. more expensive, less efficient, less practical than a minivan. heavier, slower and not as fun to drive as a car. who here genuinely enjoys driving an SUV? do you really think you're cool driving an SUV? i don't. every time i drive our MDX i just wanna get back in my other cars. if you must be hauling cargo or people or kids, why not do it in the most comfortable, efficient and practical way possible? that IMO, would be a minivan. there's no pretense with a minivan. there's NO cool factor. they are what they are.

why do i want an minivan? mainly because i will rarely drive it but when i do, and i want to load up the kids and all their junk, what do i do? i push a button, and all the doors freakin slide open for me, and the kids get in themselves. if i don't want to watch them at ballet or soccer, i sit in the reclining seats in the back and watch a movie, or play video games (i've done that in the mdx, but its not comfy with two car seats already there). sure i have two car seats in my e90, but i really don't drive my kids in it. you know why? kids are MESSY. minivans are made to collect crap. that's why the new odyssey has a BUILT IN vacuum as an option.

marriage is a compromise. i get to keep my two two seaters and the e90, she gets an SUV over a minivan. that way she gets to keep her too cool for a minivan suburban mom image, while struggling to get two kids packed up in her SUV.

-c

My Aversion to Minivans has more to do with the Super-sized nature of the vehicles, and the high center of gravity... Much like most of the owners. Kidding kidding, but they are better than SUVs without question in terms of usability practicality. They're just so... godaweful to look at and drive.

I find the SUV to be simple social posturing as well kinda, there's just something inherently wrong with average American perceptions of wealth, utility, image. Most of which can be summed up in a modern SpUte. Dunno why no one in the States likes the Estate/wagon. Better handling fuel economy, etc... Damn dude didn't see the MDX in your garage, not trying to be a dick, I'm just talented that way.

As for Camera, simple gear, Canon 60D, Canon G10, a few prime lenses, a EF 15-85 and an EF 70-200 f2.8L IS. I shoot just about anything... pretty much, yeah anything from nudes to landscapes to junk in the mud, it's a hobby.

[nightops]

Originally Posted by pup73

if you must be hauling cargo or people or kids, why not do it in the most comfortable, efficient and practical way possible? that IMO, would be a minivan. there's no pretense with a minivan. there's NO cool factor. they are what they are.

-c

I too came to that conclusion after looking at many 3rd row SUVs (including MDX) because my wife was so resistant to driving a minivan. We wanted something that actually had USABLE third row seats for adults while not sacrificing cargo space. No SUV could come close in this aspect, all have very tiny 3rd rows that aren't very convenient to get in and no cargo room when 3rd row seats are up. I pretty much gave up on looking cool and just said i'm going to be comfy and relaxed when i'm driving the minivan - the leather captains chairs are really nice on long trips. As with bikes, no one car does everything well - better to have several knives for different purposes-that way everyone's happy.

[birdsley14]

While my wife couldn't actually make me get rid of a vehicle (you know, since I'm the one who drives it....... and makes the money), I did have a similar situation that worked in my favor. I had a quad cab Ram 4x4 with the Hemi V89 that got about 13 mpg. I drive about 20k miles a year, so the fuel cost was pretty high. She complained about it all the time until I finally said "Unless you're ok with me getting another BMW, I'm not getting rid of the truck." She called my bluff and now I have a 3-Series again and am averaging 26 mpg. That's a win-win-win.

[williamf]

Originally Posted by birdsley14

While my wife couldn't actually make me get rid of a vehicle (you know, since I'm the one who drives it....... and makes the money), I did have a similar situation that worked in my favor. I had a quad cab Ram 4x4 with the Hemi V89 that got about 13 mpg. I drive about 20k miles a year, so the fuel cost was pretty high. She complained about it all the time until I finally said "Unless you're ok with me getting another BMW, I'm not getting rid of the truck." She called my bluff and now I have a 3-Series again and am averaging 26 mpg. That's a win-win-win.

I agree. It is all a matter of how one approaches a situation. A wife wanting something different is a perfect opportunity to eliminate the thing she does not want and add something else that you want even more.

My wife wanted a new MDX . I said no problem. A few months later, it was easy for me to get the new car I wanted. Now my wife is tired of the MDX and wants something else. No problem! Soon it will be time for stage 3 on my TTRS and I will get little to no grief on the $15K that will probably cost.