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      10-25-2011, 03:10 PM   #1
dxb335d
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Thumbs down Bertie has just been raped.

Armageddon happening here right now...

Bertie our tortoise, well Bertina it turns out now has just been violated by a tortoise we inherited tonight.

Miswah's family have given there mediterranean tortoise to us. (we already has
A normal UK stlyeee one)

He has come in and straight away dry fucked the shit out out poor Bertie. Rape without warning. I feel sick for Bertie. We witnessed the whole thing and it was too late.
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      10-25-2011, 03:34 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dxb335d View Post

He has come in and straight away dry fucked the shit out out poor Bertie. Rape without warning. I feel sick for Bertie. We witnessed the whole thing and it was too late.
You're expecting us to believe that it all happened to quickly for you to do anything about it.

My money is on you all stood around wetting yourselves as it happened.

I feel sorry for Bertie.
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      10-25-2011, 03:38 PM   #3
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I think he was asking for it wearing that short shell.....
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      10-25-2011, 03:41 PM   #4
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It's the bystander effect. I read about it in another thread.
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      10-25-2011, 03:46 PM   #5
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It's the bystander effect. I read about it in another thread.
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      10-25-2011, 03:49 PM   #6
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She hasn't had it for months, she probably loved it.

Hopefully it is burtina then, or it could be a gay turtle.
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      10-25-2011, 03:52 PM   #7
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Dry humping at Fandango Towers? Surely not.....

And I've got the video to prove it
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      10-25-2011, 03:59 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by m@rk View Post
You're expecting us to believe that it all happened to quickly for you to do anything about it.

My money is on you all stood around wetting yourselves as it happened.

I feel sorry for Bertie.
Hold up mate, he just rocked up mounted and started humping!!! He must have pumped 4-5 times before we had chance to tear him off Bertie.
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      10-25-2011, 04:02 PM   #9
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Bertie has always been associated with fucking all sorts.
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      10-25-2011, 04:12 PM   #10
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Have you named him Will?
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      10-25-2011, 04:15 PM   #11
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Did you get footage of the cum shot?
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      10-25-2011, 04:17 PM   #12
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Guys a quick update.

Tom Tom the rapist had fallen asleep, Bertie Obviously still distraught after what happened earlier has snuck up and started nutting him.
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      10-25-2011, 04:22 PM   #13
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Quote:
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Bertie has always been associated with fucking all sorts.
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      10-25-2011, 04:40 PM   #14
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Bertie fighting back

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      10-25-2011, 04:42 PM   #15
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      10-25-2011, 05:05 PM   #16
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Carlos mate you do come out with best lines, i've just literally pissed myself laughing!! lol:

I'm just praying the new guy on the block didn't go in bare back.
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      10-25-2011, 05:16 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dxb335d View Post
Bertie fighting back

Now that's what you call a sex face isn't it.
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      10-25-2011, 05:18 PM   #18
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Well this is the funniest thread I have seen here for ages, I almost fell off the couch give it a few months and the eggs will be hatching, then the fun begins, paternity suits, maintenance payments.......
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      10-25-2011, 05:27 PM   #19
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Now that's what you call a sex face isn't it.


+1 on the great thread!
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      10-25-2011, 06:11 PM   #20
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Hang on.. you have a gay tortoise?!
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      10-26-2011, 04:16 AM   #21
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LOL....bloody hell...

Did he manage to shoot his load on Bertie?

On a serious note, do turtles/ tortoises have dicks?...
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      10-26-2011, 04:50 AM   #22
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