no sex since 1955

vam · 03-05-2010, 07:07 PM

A crusty old Chief Petty Officer found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief Petty Officer for conversation.

"Excuse me, Chief, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Chief Petty Officer just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Chief said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

eL oL eL

Comet · 03-05-2010, 07:10 PM

LMAO

Kroy · 03-05-2010, 07:11 PM

hah... just a small chuckle

Memphis1 · 03-05-2010, 08:30 PM

Saw it coming a mile away...

nmulax · 03-05-2010, 10:22 PM

not bad

Scorpion · 03-06-2010, 02:07 AM

Hahahah

Small Yellow · 03-06-2010, 02:44 AM

Haha this one made me laugh.

sole cal · 03-06-2010, 03:04 AM

hahaha

smack · 03-06-2010, 08:01 AM

Good one

Alexander · 03-06-2010, 11:58 AM

NIce!

OlivaresAnthony · 03-06-2010, 12:14 PM

LOL

M3 vert · 03-06-2010, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kroy

hah... just a small chuckle

+ 1

Indeed

Verbiage · 03-06-2010, 02:33 PM

Classic!

BMW F22 · 03-06-2010, 05:27 PM

love it. very creative and funny.

dmailloux · 03-06-2010, 05:30 PM

ahhh Navy humor... got to love the Chief

pmeloche · 03-07-2010, 01:19 PM

burberry · 03-10-2010, 12:23 PM

lol another interesting story. thanks for helping make my day at work go faster.

Cris · 03-11-2010, 09:28 PM

I lol'd!

Garduna · 03-12-2010, 11:30 AM

hah nice

klipseracer · 03-13-2010, 05:21 PM

lawl

mattburch · 04-23-2010, 12:05 AM

hahahaha

shuarma · 04-26-2010, 06:28 PM

heh

03-05-2010, 07:07 PM	#1
vam New Member 5 Rep 14 Posts Drives: 325i E90 / IS300 / 335i (soon) Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Taiwan iTrader: (0)	no sex since 1955 A crusty old Chief Petty Officer found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief Petty Officer for conversation. "Excuse me, Chief, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Chief Petty Officer just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Chief said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now." eL oL eL
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03-05-2010, 07:10 PM	#2
Comet Troll Harder 393 Rep 596 Posts Drives: 997 GT3, 997 4 GTS, X6M Join Date: May 2007 Location: Montreal, Beirut iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 Porsche GT3 [8.00] 2012 Porsche 4 GTS [5.34]	LMAO __________________
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03-05-2010, 07:11 PM	#3
Kroy Brigadier General 173 Rep 3,032 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA iTrader: (1)	hah... just a small chuckle
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03-05-2010, 08:30 PM	#4
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 89 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	Saw it coming a mile away... __________________
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03-05-2010, 10:22 PM	#5
nmulax Brigadier General 378 Rep 4,320 Posts Drives: '07 Z4 M Coupe Join Date: May 2006 Location: Metro-Detroit iTrader: (5) Garage List 2007 Z4M Coupé [7.66]	not bad __________________
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03-06-2010, 02:07 AM	#6
Scorpion Major 162 Rep 1,210 Posts Drives: Nothing Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Nowhere iTrader: (0)	Hahahah
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03-06-2010, 02:44 AM	#7
Small Yellow Track Addict 110 Rep 813 Posts Drives: 2010 BMW M3 E92 \| 2008 Z4M E86 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Orange County, California iTrader: (0)	Haha this one made me laugh. __________________ BMW ///M3 Coupe Completed November 16, 2009 Received December 29,2009
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03-06-2010, 03:04 AM	#8
sole cal Black Mamba 64 Rep 1,326 Posts Drives: E90 335i Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SoCal 818 iTrader: (10)	hahaha __________________ www.ticketbeaters.com
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03-06-2010, 08:01 AM	#9
smack Lieutenant Colonel 34 Rep 1,569 Posts Drives: BMW's/Flex Polishers Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Spangdahlem Germany iTrader: (0)	Good one
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03-06-2010, 11:58 AM	#10
Alexander Mad tyte EuR0 style boooi <--- Joke 212 Rep 2,472 Posts Drives: E30, E85, MKVI Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Deal's Gap iTrader: (0)	NIce!
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03-06-2010, 12:14 PM	#11
OlivaresAnthony Colonel 99 Rep 2,095 Posts Drives: 2019 Toyota Tacoma TRD OR 4x4 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (6) Garage List 2019 Toyota Tacoma ... [0.00] 2015 BMW 535i [0.00]	LOL __________________ E90 325i\|Sparkling Graphite Metallic\|Steptronic\|Black Leatherette/Dark Burl Interior\|OEM Alarm\|35%Front/5%Rear Tint\|RD LED License Plate Lights\|Rear Fogs Activated\|Debadged\|Smoked Sidemarkers\|Blacklines\|Depo P90v2\|Matte Black Grille\|BMS PBX\|AFE Drop In\|Charcoal Filter Delete\|Air Scoops\| RM Silicone Intake Hose\| Magnaflow 14815\| 19" Avant Garde M310\|Continental DWS\|M3 Lip Spoiler
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03-06-2010, 02:33 PM	#13
Verbiage Dismembered Member 3583 Rep 9,213 Posts Drives: F80 ZCP 6MT, R55 Clubman S 6MT Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: DMV iTrader: (6)	Classic! __________________ My delivery experience and beach photoshoot here.
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03-06-2010, 05:27 PM	#14
BMW F22 Major General 3562 Rep 9,787 Posts Drives: ///M235i Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (8)	love it. very creative and funny.
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03-06-2010, 05:30 PM	#15
dmailloux Navy Chief 31 Rep 447 Posts Drives: '14 CBM X6M Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: San Diego iTrader: (1) Garage List 2019 Triumph Speed ... [0.00]	ahhh Navy humor... got to love the Chief
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03-07-2010, 01:19 PM	#16
pmeloche Lieutenant Colonel 24 Rep 1,604 Posts Drives: 2013 F25 X3 xDrive35i Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Montréal, Canada iTrader: (0)	__________________ Patrice 2013 F25 X3 xDrive35i Vermillion Red
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03-10-2010, 12:23 PM	#17
burberry Caffeine Addict 46 Rep 1,987 Posts Drives: E93 M3 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Brooklyn, NY iTrader: (3)	lol another interesting story. thanks for helping make my day at work go faster. __________________ '07 E90 335xi ► '09 E90 335i ► '08 E93 M3 ► ???
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03-11-2010, 09:28 PM	#18
Cris What's FWD? 10 Rep 398 Posts Drives: Former E82, current E39 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Denver, CO iTrader: (0)	I lol'd!
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03-12-2010, 11:30 AM	#19
Garduna Brigadier General 160 Rep 4,013 Posts Drives: Sedona 1er\|Yellow S3\|NardoTTRS Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Toronto iTrader: (5)	hah nice
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03-13-2010, 05:21 PM	#20
klipseracer Banned 219 Rep 3,012 Posts Drives: 2007 E90 335i, 05 E46 330i Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Arizona iTrader: (27) Garage List 2007 335i [0.00] 2005 330i [0.00]	lawl
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04-23-2010, 12:05 AM	#21
mattburch Major 45 Rep 1,296 Posts Drives: 2009 e92 328i Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: LA --> Laguna iTrader: (0) Garage List 2009 BMW 328i [0.00]	hahahaha __________________ 2009 e92 328i: Alpine White / Black Dakota / Gray Poplar / Manual / Premium / Sport / iPod & USB Modifications: OEM M Sport Rear / Matte Black Kidneys / Painted Reflectors / 20% Window Tint / LUX 5.0 / VMR 19" V703 / LED Sidemarkers / OEM M Foot Rest / OEM Performance SSK / Weisslicht White PY24W LED / 6000k D1S / CB2 Intake More To Come..
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04-26-2010, 06:28 PM	#22
shuarma Banned 87 Rep 718 Posts Drives: AW e92 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: NY iTrader: (1)	heh
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