[xxForgedxx]

No ones thought of this but it'd be pretty cool to have a database of excuses to call out of work in case you just might need one soon or some day. I actually need one right now. Help

[kabalm18]

Originally Posted by xxForgedxx

No ones thought of this but it'd be pretty cool to have a database of excuses to call out of work in case you just might need one soon or some day. I actually need one right now. Help

I never give an excuse. I just call in and tell em Im not coming in, its none of their fucking business!

[nmulax]

+1 on it really being none of their business.
If you have the personal/vacation time, it doesn't matter if you're sick, on vacation, banging your neighbor (or her daughter), or just don't feel like working.

But to keep to the topic of the thread:
"I have a pounding migrane."
If you work infront of a computer all day, common sense tells you that this would likely only make it worse.

[Blake]

when i worked, i always had a disease that i never really had. and when i wanted to get out of it without too serious of a penalty, i'd just say i was having problems with my "disease". i used crohn's disease because it's relatively unknown to most people and it can be debilitating. yes i know it's scandalous, but it works.

[xxForgedxx]

Originally Posted by Blake

when i worked, i always had a disease that i never really had. and when i wanted to get out of it without too serious of a penalty, i'd just say i was having problems with my "disease". i used crohn's disease because it's relatively unknown to most people and it can be debilitating. yes i know it's scandalous, but it works.

And no one dares to ASK you about it. lol

[Perpetrator]

Depends on how far in advance you'll know when you'll want to call in sick. if there's a particular day you know you want to call in, then you gotta put a "down payment" down beforehand. Let's say you want to call in sick Friday and today is monday. On wednesday or thurs, you gotta pay the down payment, meaning you have to act a little sick around people. A little cough here and there, a sniffle every once in a while, etc. if you do it right, then you can tell your boss that you want to come in, but are scared to get others around you sick. play the martyr.

Or have kids like me and use them. "my kid was throwing up all night, so i haven't slept at all yet..." the ladies in the office will give you bonus points for staying up and taking care of your kids

[!Xoible]

"working from home" is what we say.

[samwoo2go]

If you work customer service (meaning you have to physically meet clients face to face) the best way is to portray an image that your manager does not want the clients to see.

I use to be a teller at Wells Fargo and being a teller means they are REALLY strict about you not skipping scheduled work or be late for even 1 minute because it backs up the wait line.

I use to call in a small bathroom and tell them I got food poisoning or some shit and sometime during the conversation I will make a throw up sound and dumb some water in the toilet from a plastic bag, then flush (gotta remember to flush). Gets off everytime. Its pretty lame, but I resorted to it when they wouldn't let me off work even if I said I have to go to my friend's funeral.

[2kaccordocoupe]

I just say I'm going to work from home. If I don't even plan on doing that I just say I'm not coming in.

[radix]

http://www.getodd.com/raz/sickday/sickday.html

[SDTopless]

Jizzed in my pants.

[OC Guy]

I'm sick.
Not coming in today.
Off for personal reasons.

Be an adult and you'll most likely be treated like one.

[asdflkijd]

threw up blood last night, was up till 4am, must have eaten bad sushi..
allergies are worst this time of year, I can't see because my eyes are swollen
I have the stomache flu
I have a migraine
I think I caught a cold last night
My kids are sick, and I was up all night taking care of them
I need to take my kid to the hospital
My kids babysitter couldnt make it today
urgent family business
a member of my family is sick
I need to watch after my sick grandmother
lol.. i could go on all day

[Tondtar]

"Got injured while shaving my balls in the shower this morning"

[achenator]

diarreah. Enuff said. Nobody wants to fuck with that.

[headred]

eye problem...I can't see myself coming in today!

[Couch]

Since I never miss any days, I just say I have a sinus infection or don't feel good.

Only called in 3 times in the 3 years I've worked here. Usually because of a hangover.

I try not to call in though and feel guilty after the fact because of seeing my dads work ethic. The times I've seen him work 14 hours days with the full blown flu, I can go in with a headache.

[darkphantom]

Originally Posted by SDTopless

Jizzed in my pants.

[MadDog]

Originally Posted by achenator

diarreah. Enuff said. Nobody wants to fuck with that.

Or tell your boss you have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)

[bigslickak]

Simpler the better.

Never go into some elaborate act to give a reason to miss work. It's ALWAYS bullshit when someone does that.

Just say you're sick and if they ask questions just answer with simple responses.

[darkphantom]

^yeah I just say I won't be coming in. I have an exam, or I feel sick. that's about it.