[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by Dubbedoutbimmer

wow 4-5 hours commuting no wonder you hate ppl and dont want to go out I would go postal lol I live 5 miles from work and that bugs me when there is traffic move closer and take advantage of your time better you will be 100 times happier they say most americans love there job but the travel time and aggrevation is what kills them

its only 20miles but traffic ftl

[Dubbedoutbimmer]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

its only 20miles but traffic ftl

public trans...maybe meet prince charming on the T ??? just let me know what T line and I will be there hahahaha

[F87LUV]

that is public transportation! driving would be worse

[Dubbedoutbimmer]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

that is public transportation! driving would be worse

omg shit thats even worse wow just set up a tent @ work go home on the weekends lol

[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by Dubbedoutbimmer

omg shit thats even worse wow just set up a tent @ work go home on the weekends lol

like the homeless guys wearing boxes on the corner?

[Revlis]

Well Focusing on yourself all the time pretty much guarantees that you'll be alone so it's a moot point. There's a huge world out there full of fantastic people, places and things. While it's important to always look out for yourself, "Focusing on yourself" is just well... Selfish and will never get you anywhere.


I dunno, maybe I'm misunderstanding the OP. However, my wife and I have gotten as far as we have in 14 years NOT because we Focus on ourselves, but because we support and love each other. So no way in hell the relationship has held either of us back, it's made us both stronger and better.

FWIW, might need to have a good long look at your perspective, check yourself a little bit, cause you might end up all alone if you cannot focus on anyone other than yourself.

[darkphantom]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

So I was thinking about that singles thread and my own experiences and I've come to the conclusion that anytime I've been in a relationship, I've lost focus on myself. Anyone else feel the same way? If I were to get into a relationship, I'd constantly have to worry about making time for it and compromising the things I need to do. What's the opportunity cost for you? Or is it possible to actually have it all?

So I guess you've JUST figured out the meaning of a relationship, eh?

You have to give back too, you can't just take take take....

My women used to tell me the same thing until I finally got it through my head that I will have to sacrifice in order to maintain this relationship. If it's something that you find as a burden, perhaps you should think about taking a break or something...but know that it takes two to tango.

[F87LUV]

Originally Posted by Revlis

Well Focusing on yourself all the time pretty much guarantees that you'll be alone so it's a moot point. There's a huge world out there full of fantastic people, places and things. While it's important to always look out for yourself, "Focusing on yourself" is just well... Selfish and will never get you anywhere.


I dunno, maybe I'm misunderstanding the OP. However, my wife and I have gotten as far as we have in 14 years NOT because we Focus on ourselves, but because we support and love each other. So no way in hell the relationship has held either of us back, it's made us both stronger and better.

FWIW, might need to have a good long look at your perspective, check yourself a little bit, cause you might end up all alone if you cannot focus on anyone other than yourself.

maybe its because the last guy i dated was a complete loser and didnt care about working towards his life that i, in turn, lost my own focus?

im not a selfish person in terms of my family/friends but maybe i just havent found a guy that complements my lifestyle and vice versa?

[iatacs19]

it's a sunk cost not opportunity cost.

[F87LUV]

hmmmmmmm in a way, yes

[renegade]

The one true thing I've learned about dating/relationships is too be picky - in fact be very choosey..Don't enter into a relationshp with anybody you aren't sure that potentially isn't batshit crazy until you learn alot of things about them...doesn't mean you can't be a 'friends with benefits' if you can pull things off right but I've noticed way too many friends/people entor into relationships way too quick and that's when they drain their time and eventually are on the road to failing anyway.

[Revlis]

Originally Posted by ZGirl4U

maybe its because the last guy i dated was a complete loser and didnt care about working towards his life that i, in turn, lost my own focus?

im not a selfish person in terms of my family/friends but maybe i just havent found a guy that complements my lifestyle and vice versa?

Sounds exactly right... The "sacrifices" you make to a person you love should NEVER feel like a Sacrifice. In fact, when you meet that certain someone you shouldn't ever really notice... Unless they ask to drive your BMW.

But truly, a healthy relationship is about give and take, but it shouldn't ever really feel like work, or that you are doing without. If some silly SOB isn't responding in kind then you need to move on or slap em' around and see if he wakes up.

[stooken]

it's a give and take. you have to sacrifice a few things but you gain others. just have to weigh all your options to see if the relationship is worth sacrificing those things. most of the time, the people that aren't ready for relationships have too much on their plate or too much they haven't done yet. they're not ready to settle down.

i know i'm being held back on some things but it's okay, i'm happy. that's what matters.

[Ru$$ell]

Originally Posted by Spool

Yep girls are like anchors to a boat

lol,well said spool