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      12-18-2012, 02:14 AM   #1
dobbo99
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the expectant fathers thread!

so we are 29 weeks this Friday, due in March.

im pretty much the last of my group of mates to join the father club, and ive seen a few of them struggle over the last few years.

but Im a bit worried, as my mrs is making it all look so easy! she just taking it in her stride, shes not moaned at all, nothings changed for her, i guess maybe she is a lucky lady in that respect, just gets tired earlier in the evening.
its making me wary that something is waiting for us round the corner!!

anyone else due in the next couple of months?
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      12-18-2012, 02:20 AM   #2
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Scary stuff mate. Good luck with the impending birth.
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      12-18-2012, 02:39 AM   #3
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we've still got to move house before march, and one of us needs a car with more than 2 doors.
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      12-18-2012, 02:52 AM   #4
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I think this is the 'calm before the storm' so to speak. The trauma/enjoyment begins when the baby arrives home! Stand by for sleepless nights and lots of noise - those parents who tell you baby sleeps all through the night are lying!

Then brace yourself for the expense which generally ends when they get to about 21 - obviously prolonged if/when you have more of the little blighters! You will try in vain to continue to do everything you did without kids, but it is impossible and you adapt to a life of nappies and prams and taking hours to get ready to go out...



Having said that, many congrats, I hope the birth goes well and despite my wisdom(!) they change your life irrevocably and for the better.
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      12-18-2012, 02:56 AM   #5
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Don't go rushing out to get a 4 or 5 door car.
As you have something to practice on with your mate's kids, borrow a small one and child seat, put it in the back of one of your cars.
I always found it less of a strain to put a small child in the back of a 2 door car than a 4 door. I brace my hip on the door pillar, so there's less of a strain on the back as you lean over to put the child in its seat and strap it in. With a 4 door, it's a straight bend over (?) with no additional support to your (or the Mrs. back).

We did eventually go to a 5 door car, and things just went downhill from there - more kids, more mortgage, less sex, less money.

I know it's a little late for you now, but my thoughts are that we should have had a dog before (read as "instead of") children. At least you can have a dog put down. I guess I'm not the paternal type!!

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      12-18-2012, 03:26 AM   #6
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thanks guys.

well having failed to shift mine for (what I think is) a resonable price, im thinking to keep it and then i was going to get one of these ISOfix bases, and keep that in the BMW then I can just click the little one onto the base, already in the seat.
might then get a non isofix one for the other half, or could just buy another base for her car I guess.
wont be cheap regardless of what we do!

already used to no money! we got married in September (£20k) and the house deposit is to be week after new year (£25k) we were lucky not to have to borrow a penny for either, so that just means she'll be back at work sooner than she might think!
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      12-18-2012, 03:52 AM   #7
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Congratulations dobbo! We've got our third due April 20th. A momentary lapse in concentration on my part I think. By then we'll have Harry who'll be 5 and Edward who'll be 2.

Quote:
Originally Posted by peterg1965 View Post
I think this is the 'calm before the storm' so to speak. The trauma/enjoyment begins when the baby arrives home! Stand by for sleepless nights and lots of noise - those parents who tell you baby sleeps all through the night are lying!
Ha! I laugh about that first couple of weeks when the baby just sleeps and you think 'Hey, this is easy!'. We fell into that trap with Harry and have a giggle at new parents who do the same. A tip dobbo, you haven't got an angelic baby, the little blighter is still exhausted and in shock at being in the big wide world. Then the sleepless nights start!

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Originally Posted by AlwynMike View Post
Don't go rushing out to get a 4 or 5 door car.
As you have something to practice on with your mate's kids, borrow a small one and child seat, put it in the back of one of your cars.
I always found it less of a strain to put a small child in the back of a 2 door car than a 4 door. I brace my hip on the door pillar, so there's less of a strain on the back as you lean over to put the child in its seat and strap it in. With a 4 door, it's a straight bend over (?) with no additional support to your (or the Mrs. back).
We changed to a Touran for Mrs. rich1068 and best thing we ever did. Loads of room, comfortable, goes well, fine for going away in and most importantly I can order whatever car I like as we already have a family bus

Oh and Isofix is great. First time you put the seat in the car when it's pissing it down it'll have paid for itself.
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      12-18-2012, 03:52 AM   #8
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Just be prepared for other parents claiming there kids sleep at 6.30pm and all through the night etc, a lot of people lie to make themselves look like the perfect parents.

All kids are different and it's a massive learning curve, buy baby clothes as you need them and try to stay away from 'designer baby clothes'.

Also find out where your nearest Walk in medical centre is, sometimes baby develop rashes, viruses etc.
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      12-18-2012, 03:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peterg1965 View Post
I think this is the 'calm before the storm' so to speak. The trauma/enjoyment begins when the baby arrives home! Stand by for sleepless nights and lots of noise - those parents who tell you baby sleeps all through the night are lying!


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      12-18-2012, 03:58 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpina-d3 View Post
Just be prepared for other parents claiming there kids sleep at 6.30pm and all through the night etc, a lot of people lie to make themselves look like the perfect parents.

All kids are different and it's a massive learning curve, buy baby clothes as you need them and try to stay away from 'designer baby clothes'.

Also find out where your nearest Walk in medical centre is, sometimes baby develop rashes, viruses etc.
This!

All really good advice. What I'd offer is get yourself to an NCT antenatal class. Take what they say with a pinch of salt though, but what it's good for is meeting other folk in the area that are in the same boat as you and have the same fears etc. Well worth the money IMHO - met some really good friends there.
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      12-18-2012, 04:51 AM   #11
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Congrats. The ISOFIX bases are excellent and will make your life very easy taking the baby out of the car. However the car seats alone can be heavy and with the growing baby, make sure you/wife dont pull your back out taking it out of a coupe.
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      12-18-2012, 04:58 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sufchenko View Post
Congrats. The ISOFIX bases are excellent and will make your life very easy taking the baby out of the car. However the car seats alone can be heavy and with the growing baby, make sure you/wife dont pull your back out taking it out of a coupe.
i was thinking that a non-isofix seat would be better for the other half, as it would be much lighter for getting him about.
one thats easy to just strap in using the rear belts?
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      12-18-2012, 05:00 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frobius View Post
This!

All really good advice. What I'd offer is get yourself to an NCT antenatal class. Take what they say with a pinch of salt though, but what it's good for is meeting other folk in the area that are in the same boat as you and have the same fears etc. Well worth the money IMHO - met some really good friends there.
will be doing NCT after Xmas, im only going as Ive paid for it via my years of NI contributions!

noticed your in Huntingdon, its my home town! went to Hinchingbrooke School many years ago and my Dad still lives in the area.
not been back to the actual town for years though, bet its changed.
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      12-18-2012, 05:08 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dobbo99 View Post
i was thinking that a non-isofix seat would be better for the other half, as it would be much lighter for getting him about.
one thats easy to just strap in using the rear belts?
It all depends on your lifestyle. There are ISOFIX seats that clip to the car and there are ISOFIX bases that also clip to the car but you can then attach a car seat on top. We used the latter which meant you can take the baby out of the car and into the buggy without waking them up.
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      12-18-2012, 05:35 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sufchenko View Post
It all depends on your lifestyle. There are ISOFIX seats that clip to the car and there are ISOFIX bases that also clip to the car but you can then attach a car seat on top. We used the latter which meant you can take the baby out of the car and into the buggy without waking them up.
im learning!
we will probably buy a travel system of some description (pushchair, carry cot, car seat, whatever else) so that everything fits together, or at least the carseat comes out and attachs straight to the pushchair/pram/whatever.

I cannot believe how much all the stuff is. the 'in' named stuff is extortionate, £800 for a pram!!?? leave off.

we've seen a non-branded deal for £300 which includes everything, that will do to start with!
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      12-18-2012, 05:52 AM   #16
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^100% agree, it's a rip off.

We went with the Maxi Cosi range for the car seats. We started off with the newborn seat (cabrio fix) and then upgraded to the bigger maxi Cosi seat (tobi) when he was 1.5year old. Both seats have been more than what we expected and are easy to fit.

Pram; ours cost £250 from a mamas and papas sales event and has so far lasted 3 years.

Instead of being OTT with prams, clothes etc we saved the money to have our son put into a private nursery when he was 1.5 years old, money better spent TBH.
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Last edited by Jedimindtrix; 12-18-2012 at 05:59 AM..
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      12-18-2012, 07:04 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dobbo99 View Post
I cannot believe how much all the stuff is.
That's what proud grandparents are for!

And Alpina-d3 is spot on. Maxi-Cosi/Quinny combination is great. Separate Isofix base + CabrioFix + Quinny Buzz. Not having to get the baby out of the car seat is really good. We then moved on to the Tobi too and now Harry has a RodiFix. All great products and they'll last us for all three children.
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      12-18-2012, 07:09 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpina-d3 View Post

Instead of being OTT with prams, clothes etc we saved the money to have our son put into a private nursery when he was 1.5 years old, money better spent TBH.
exactly the same conversation we had last week!
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      12-18-2012, 07:31 AM   #19
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I got the guilt trip and so went out and bought an x-type estate, by the time we realised we didnt need all that space I was down 6k in depreciation, so ended up keeping the barge 5 years, until it was worth nowt.

God, how I wished I had bought a 3 series touring!

now got 2 little uns and an E92, the missus has an X3.
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      12-18-2012, 07:41 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dobbo99 View Post
will be doing NCT after Xmas, im only going as Ive paid for it via my years of NI contributions!
The NCT!

Geez,I attended those classes 26 odd yrs ago,I have never met such a bunch of stiff upper lipped,superior and pretentious people in all my life.

I'd never have known people could be quite so militant about childbirth,and have such a total lack of faith in the NHS,it was shocking!

We went twice,and after I had the audacity to question some of their beliefs,which ended up in a heated discussion,we never went again.

Anyway,good luck with everything Dobbo,it's an exciting time in people's lives, awaiting the big day
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      12-18-2012, 09:10 AM   #21
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Well our little one is due on April 23rd and its our first. Not sure it's sunk in yet and yes I have had all the warnings!! Expecting a little boy which is great for me, loads more toys to play with :-)

We had a 911 and a TT so something had to give. Ordered an X6 which I something we both wanted regardless of kids.
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      12-18-2012, 09:33 AM   #22
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Its not always lies when parent s tell you their kids sleep right through. Probably 5 nights a week ours will go from 8pm through to 7am. 2 nights a week though she gets up around 1-2 for a couple hours. Apparently.

We went for one of the super pricey prams. The Stokke Explory. Ok, its one of the more expensive ones, but we find it to be worth every penny. Apart from the many compliments we get on such a cool looking pram, it has also proved itself a nice wee high-chair when out for a meal, as well as your child is sitting a lot higher up than any other pram we have seen. If we are going through all the expense of having a baby, I want to be able to see her close, so I can keep a close eye on my investment, lol. Honestly, go have a look at them, the difference is amazing.

We also went for the Cabriofix with ISOfix base. Worth every penny (the isofix base), and is easy to put in a non-isofix car too. The base just installs in the car, and the seat clips in and out. We got the car seat adaptors for the pram too, and it is excellent on the being handy front. The little 'un doesn't like it though, and we wish we had bought the Stokke car seat / isofix base instead. It's apparently the only baby spec seat on the market that reclines a little.

Although, it is worth noting that your child is not meant to be in the car seat for more than 2 hours at a time. So when you go shopping or anything, you might have to take them out. When we take the beast (Range Rover), this isn't a problem. The boot is plenty big enough for a decent shop as well as the whole travel system. In the 3 series touring though, there isn't much room left for shopping. So if you are just going shopping, and will be away for more than 2 hours, just get a baby sling and forget the pram completely, as you will only be able to get toilet roll and cereal in the boot. When the 335d is due for replacement, it'll either be with a 5 series or X5. 3 series is just too small.
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