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      03-23-2009, 04:52 AM   #1
dxb335d
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Airline check sheet

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: Thats what theyre there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youre right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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      03-23-2009, 05:24 AM   #2
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yeah I filled out many a tech log like this. Only thing is there legally binding and also, not as many faults get fixed as you think lol. Qantarse are hilarious to work with,although when I worked for a company who had the first A38* we had no problems with ours but Qantarse have had big issues and so have Emirat*s. So not to scare you to much from flying , also you wanna see some of the ruski shit I fix, now that tech log is funny.

Stop panicing after reading this as it's still safer to fly than drive
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      03-23-2009, 05:27 AM   #3
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I'm off to Japan next week on Business ... and a colleague very kindly sent this to me this morning ...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7958367.stm

Hope they have swept it up by the time I arrive.

D.
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      03-23-2009, 05:32 AM   #4
dxb335d
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I rekon there are far more crashes now than there was 10-15 years ago. Certainly seems that way.
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      03-23-2009, 05:37 AM   #5
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Probably just increased number of flights and quicker, more accessible, news means yes there are more crashes but proportionatly lower and you hear about them all now (internet, e-mail, 24 hr news).
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      03-23-2009, 06:59 AM   #6
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unlikely to be genuine, especially since airliners don not have IFF (Identify Freind or Foe) fitted in the first place:

http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp
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      03-23-2009, 07:37 AM   #7
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lol, I like those!
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      03-23-2009, 08:46 AM   #8
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Cutbacks = Crashes...especially in today's economic climate..
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zltm089 View Post
YOU GUYS ARE TWISTED!!!...lol...a midget!!!....
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      03-23-2009, 08:48 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by booforty View Post
lol, I like those!
+1
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