[RCUK]

Just thought id post this for some advice more then anything.

In short, a friend of mine has a stalker.

About a month ago a window was smashed at her house, she just assumed it was kids playing football and accidents happen. Few days later, another window got smashed. The a few days after a tree branch was pushed through her open window.

Then a week or so after that she saw a man looking at her through her kitchen window when she walked into the kitchen. As she walked in he ducked and ran away - prob worth saying at this point she is a single mum living on her own with 2 daughters in a group floor flat

She has now seen the guy 3 more times and doesn't recognise him whatsoever. Also 2 weeks ago a neighbour called the police as they saw a person put their head through an open window at her flat.

Final straw was last week someone broke into her car and stole her satnav unit, as well as her clothes inc her old shoes. She said nothing of value - just cheap tat that she left in the car for driving etc.

Police have been called and have been really good and provided some excellent advice etc and are patrolling the area, but as u can imagine she is scared shitless at the mo and a prisoner in her own home.

Police are extremely concerned and have warned her he is a real threat to her and they believe he has mental issues. They have told her not to change her behaviour too much otherwise it might provoke him to do soothing and potentially attack her.

Brentwood Council (its a council flat) have been useless to put to lightly and have said it would take 6 months to approve her putting up a security light!! Police have contacted council and she is now waiting to get some feedback from them.

Just thought i would ask here if anyone has been in a similar situation??

[Dr Dave]

No but in her situation I'd be putting up PIR security lighting whatever the bloody council say.

[RCUK]

I said that as well!

But if she does the council will take them down - and then charge her!!!

Disgusting.

She has written the council a letter saying that if any harm comes to her or her kids she will hold them totally liable.

[rich1068]

She might not be too flush and the council are being arses but I'd go with the good doctors advice. I don't think there's much in it cost wise putting up some sort of night vision video recorder too. Our old next door neighbour had to do this after an ex turned a bit weird.

Awful situation to be in.

[dxb335d]

The guy is obviously a freak, your poor friend.

I don't agree with taking things like this into your own hands, but is is worth you and a couple of mates giving him a warning?

Actually don't. But you have to ring the police EVERYDAY untill this is sorted.

Actually wait. See him leering and fucking pin the c*** to the ground untill the police arrive

[Dr Dave]

If she's concerned about what the council would say about the lighting, perhaps affix the lights onto 4x2 posts rammed into the ground as near to the house as possible. That way she's got the deterrent but no affixed to the house.

[RCUK]

i er .. acquired some pepper spray so haver given her that so if he comes near her he is in deep shit.

Would love to tell a few friends to have a quiet word with him ... but prob is no idea who he is or anything I know its not a clever thing to do - but sometimes a little bit of physical is an 'enabler' to helping someone see a point of view.

[Kerr]

Originally Posted by RCUK

i er .. acquired some pepper spray so haver given her that so if he comes near her he is in deep shit.

Would love to tell a few friends to have a quiet word with him ... but prob is no idea who he is or anything I know its not a clever thing to do - but sometimes a little bit of physical is an 'enabler' to helping someone see a point of view.

Pepper spray/CS gas is a serious offence to even posses.

It is deemed a firearm.

Use that and you will be in deep.

[zltm089]

Definitely, pepper spray and a screw driver in the handbag....is a must.

and keep a hammer near the entrance door...

always good to be prepared...and have something "handy",.....

tell her to be mentally prepared to fcuk that psycho up!!!...DO NOT HESITATE TO DO THE FIRST MOVE IF HE COMES ANYWHERE CLOSE...

[zltm089]

Originally Posted by Kerr

Pepper spray/CS gas is a serious offence to even posses.

It is deemed a firearm.

Use that and you will be in deep.

I thought that pepper spray was legal?...

[rich1068]

Would love to tell a few friends to have a quiet word with him ... but prob is no idea who he is or anything I know its not a clever thing to do - but sometimes a little bit of physical is an 'enabler' to helping someone see a point of view.

Probably not if he's a proper mentalist. (That's the second time I've used that 'Partridge-ism' today.) Unfortunately it's a case of keeping on at the police and council and staying on your guard. Yes, friends and neighbours can help but internet forum bravado won't help her.

[Kerr]

Originally Posted by zltm089

I thought that pepper spray was legal?...

Not in the slightest.

Even the police have strict guidelines on how and when to use it.

Possession is taken very seriously. It can be lethal stuff.

May as well have a knife.

[Billyray911]

As mentioned,cs/pepper spray is a section 5 firearm.I know you had the best intentions,but I would get it back off her and please don't advise her to carry any kind of bladed article-screwdriver etc (again,I understand the best intentions that are meant).
This situation already means that she is probably a nervous wreck,so arming her could mean disaster-to her if she gets caught with a can of incapacitant,her kids if they find and use it by accident or,in the worst scenario,she has it used against her.
Ask the Police to put a warning marker against her address-this will mean that any calls from her address are treated with priority.
The Police can,under certain scenarios,install cameras and at the very least,DV alarms with panic triggers on either a personal fob or somewhere in the house.I would argue that if this situation is as your post,this is one of those scenarios.
I would also go with the pir advice and fit alarms to the windows.Also,check that her door and window frames are solid.
Ask her to tell her immediate neighbours about what's happening.If they are aware,they will be an extra set of eyes for her...
Good security advice and support from both yourself ,friends and the Police will be better than giving her a weapon.
Get her to keep a diary in an A4 book of ALL events,however trivial.This may assist in providing a statement later down the line.
Hope all goes well...

[RCUK]

Cheers for the advice guys!!

Pepper spray has been put in a drawer - ill take it off her next time i see her!! didn't realise it was that serious. Bought her Trident thing instead - has an alarm and sprays an ultraviolet dye and smells awful apparently!

Re police..yep.. they have a note against her address. They call her each evening to check how things are going.

Windows have just been replaced and are all double glazed - but thanks for the advice on that!!

Shame someone gets hassled for no reason or fault of their own

[willhollin]

Why can't he be arrested for criminal damage if he smashed the windows?

[Billyray911]

Originally Posted by willhollin

Why can't he be arrested for criminal damage if he smashed the windows?

Looking at the OP's opener,I don't think that the damage was witnessed by anyone...

[A_P]

This is stupid!!! Seriously what on earth. Ok I understand that pepperspray is deemed a firearm of sorts. But what on earth is one suposed to do, if one is (god forbid) attacked? I am not questioning the enforcement of the law by the police, it is not their fault, but the Suits who think its dangerous.

My stance on this is simple... Pepperspray aside, lets talk guns... One could argue, ignorantly, that USA is a prime example why People shouldn't have guns... Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

I hear there is a law in Switzerland ( dont quote me) that each household MUST by law have a firearm. How many gun related deaths do they have? Extremely low ( I hear).

Personally I would rather a woman spray the bastard in the eyes and get a 6 month comunity service rather than possibly get raped or worse.

O.P All the best for your friend, terrible situation to be in, I hope she and the little ones stay safe.

[gIzzE]

If she is skint and can't afford the lights/cameras installed I am sure there are enough of us on here that are happy to blip over £20 or so to help her out.
Just shout if you think we can help.

[Business edition]

Originally Posted by dxb335d

The guy is obviously a freak, your poor friend.

I don't agree with taking things like this into your own hands, but is is worth you and a couple of mates giving him a warning?

Actually don't. But you have to ring the police EVERYDAY untill this is sorted.

Actually wait. See him leering and fucking pin the c*** to the ground untill the police arrive

I agree with dxb335d couldn't of said it better

[Business edition]

Originally Posted by gIzzE

If she is skint and can't afford the lights/cameras installed I am sure there are enough of us on here that are happy to blip over £20 or so to help her out.
Just shout if you think we can help.

Or we all can go over there and wait for him and do what we have to do

[Dave_3]

Originally Posted by Awfully_Polite

I hear there is a law in Switzerland ( dont quote me) that each household MUST by law have a firearm. How many gun related deaths do they have? Extremely low ( I hear).

Not every household. Every guy has to do National Service, and thus they have an army automatic rifle. They also have a handful of ammunition so they can make it to rally points if need be.

No problems at all with guns here.

D.

[RCUK]

Cheers for the offer of cash matey... i already said i would LOAN her the money .. £1 interest so its not a gift and make her feel bad - but she said no.

Anyway... spoke to her later... and appears the guy has moved his sights onto someone else in her block, BUT the other girls partner ran down and grabbed him asked him what he was doing.

He said he was waiting for a friend - in a dead end road underneath their windows! He then walked off past some shops who have CCTV - and whose owner knows she is having probe so she told the guy this and he is going to ask to see the tape to see if they can see him and then take the tape to the police.

It is amazing though that u cannot defend yourself when under attack as YOU get persecuted!

Unbelieveable!!

She seems more relaxed now as she hoping as the guy been spoken to etc and maybe on film might just scare him away - him being caught by the police would be a real win.