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      08-28-2008, 09:30 PM   #23
Project3
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The 40 Year Old Vigin

Cal: [to Andy about telling Trish he's a virgin] Yeah, you should definitely tell her, because I saw this movie called "Liar Liar" and the message was, "*Don't* lie."
[pause]
Cal: And that was a smart movie.

Cal: [about Andy wanting to tell Trish he's a virgin] Here, tell me, this is how it's gonna go.
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin.
Cal: Cool! I like that, because I know you don't have... chlamydia. I *know* that. I mean that shit is everywhere...
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      08-28-2008, 09:31 PM   #24
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40 year old virgin:

Cal- u just gotta go up to chicks and talk to them, like that girl right there in the book store.

Andy- Something's wrong with her underpants.

Cal- Yeah, they're not in my mouth
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      08-28-2008, 09:32 PM   #25
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The 40 Year Old Virgin

Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk... because I'm puttin' my bike in it.


--------------------------

Mooj: Life is about people. It's about connections.
Andy Stitzer: It's all about connections.
Mooj: It's not about cocks, and ass, and tits.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Mooj: And butthole pleasures.
Andy Stitzer: It's not about butthole pleasures at all.
Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.
Andy Stitzer: Please stop.
Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls.
Andy Stitzer: Mooj, just please stop.
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      08-28-2008, 09:32 PM   #26
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Jesse Montgomery III: Dude, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?
Jesse Montgomery III: DUDE, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?
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      08-28-2008, 09:32 PM   #27
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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.
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      08-28-2008, 09:33 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Project3 View Post
The 40 Year Old Vigin

Cal: [to Andy about telling Trish he's a virgin] Yeah, you should definitely tell her, because I saw this movie called "Liar Liar" and the message was, "*Don't* lie."
[pause]
Cal: And that was a smart movie.

Cal: [about Andy wanting to tell Trish he's a virgin] Here, tell me, this is how it's gonna go.
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin.
Cal: Cool! I like that, because I know you don't have... chlamydia. I *know* that. I mean that shit is everywhere...
Andy: and what if she laughs at me?

Cal: Then u punch her in the head!!

Andy: i don't wanna punch her, she's nice.

Cal: Not really punch her, like metaphorically punch her
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      08-28-2008, 09:34 PM   #29
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-Andy, how did u know she was a dude?

-Cause her hands were as big as Andre the Giants.... and her adam's apple was as big as her balls.

HAHAHHAAA
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      08-28-2008, 09:36 PM   #30
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Uther: Where have you been?
Merlin: I have walked my way since the beginning of time. Sometimes I give, sometimes I take, it is mine to know which and when!
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      08-28-2008, 09:36 PM   #31
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first u gotta slay 30-40 of dem hood rats... then after that, u can move to the upper echelon
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      08-28-2008, 09:38 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Project3 View Post
The 40 Year Old Virgin


--------------------------

Mooj: Life is about people. It's about connections.
Andy Stitzer: It's all about connections.
Mooj: It's not about cocks, and ass, and tits.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Mooj: And butthole pleasures.
Andy Stitzer: It's not about butthole pleasures at all.
Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.
Andy Stitzer: Please stop.
Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls.
Andy Stitzer: Mooj, just please stop.

BWhahahaaaa
Fuckin MOOJ!!!

oh, turbin... u see a fuckin turbin on my head. Do i say, hey u want a slurpee?? NO! I'm from Brooklyn, i have a brooklyn accent!
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      08-28-2008, 09:40 PM   #33
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u plant the seed. then u wait for the plant to grow... Then u fuck the plant!
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      08-28-2008, 09:40 PM   #34
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Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
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      08-28-2008, 09:43 PM   #35
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final for the night:
Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' ******s, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
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      08-28-2008, 09:47 PM   #36
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Kirk Lazarus: I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
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      08-28-2008, 09:49 PM   #37
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Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
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      08-29-2008, 12:55 AM   #38
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Knocked Up

Ben Stone: Hey Doc Howard, Ben Stone calling, guess what the fuck's up? Allison is going into labor and you are not fucking here, you know where your at? Your at a fucking bar mitzvah in San Francisco you motherfucking piece of shit, and you know what I'm gonna have to do now? I'm going have to kill you, I'm gonna pop a fucking cap in your ass. Your dead, your Tupac, you are fucking Biggie you piece of shit, I hope you fucking die or drop the chair and kill that fucking kid... I hope your plane crashes, peace fucker!

--------------------

Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone: It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

--------------------

Ben Stone: You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?
Alison Scott: Not really.
Ben Stone: You don't?
Alison Scott: No.
Ben Stone: At all?
Alison Scott: Uh-uh.
Ben Stone: Like... in the morning?
Alison Scott: No... I just... don't.
Ben Stone: It is, like, the best medicin. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.
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      08-29-2008, 01:01 AM   #39
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OLD SCHOOL

Peppers: She's a beauty, ain't she?
Frank: Yeah, what kind of gun is this?
Peppers: It's a tranquilizer gun. If any of these little fuckers decide to freak out on the kids, I get to take them down. Ain't that right?
Peppers: [yank's on the mule's reigns]
Peppers: Oh, what? That's what I thought. Shut up.
[Frank cocks the gun]
Peppers: Hey, hey. Careful with that. That's the most powerful tranq gun on the market. Got her in Mexico.
Frank: Cool.
Peppers: Yeah, it is cool. They say it can puncture the skin of a rhino from...
Frank: [Frank shoots himself in the neck with the dart]
Peppers: YES! That's awesome!
Frank: What?
Peppers: You just took one in the jugular, man.
Frank: What? I did.
[feeling his neck]
Peppers: YES!
Frank: Oh my god. Is this bad? Is this bad?
Peppers: You better pull that shit out man. That shit is not cool.
Frank: Wait. What? Pull what out?
Peppers: You got a fucking dart in your neck man.
Frank: [laughing] You're... you're crazy man. I like you, but you're crazy.
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      08-29-2008, 01:59 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Project3 View Post
Dumb and Dumber

Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lady at bus stop: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Lady at bus stop: Let's not.


---------------------------------------

Lloyd: So where are you headin'?
Mary: Aspen.
Lloyd: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
WE HAVE NO JOBS, WE HAVE NO MONEY, OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!!!. LOL
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The 2011 3-Series coupe offering the infamous "Harmon Kardon Badging"
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      08-29-2008, 02:07 AM   #41
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Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king.
King Leonidas: [to himself: thinking] "Earth and water"?
[Leonidas unsheathes and points his sword at the Messenger's throat]
Messenger: Madman! You're a madman!
King Leonidas: Earth and water? You'll find plenty of both down there.
Messenger: No man, Persian or Greek, no man threatens a messenger!
King Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness...?
[shouting]
King Leonidas: This is Sparta!
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      08-29-2008, 02:10 AM   #42
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He is the one!
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      08-29-2008, 10:19 AM   #43
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More from Dumb & Dumber...

Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo?
Lloyd: Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Flo: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.
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      08-29-2008, 10:21 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mholmes205 View Post
More from Dumb & Dumber...

Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo?
Lloyd: Flo, like the TV show. Uh, what is the Soup Du Jour?
Flo: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.
pull over... pull over!

no, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.

Killer boots man!
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