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      08-14-2009, 08:33 AM   #1
330cdsport
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JOKES: Warning - Offends everyone!

Redneck couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.

Husband says ' Oh for fuck's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

__________________________________

My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.

She said she wanted to come back as a pig.

I said, 'You're not fucking listening'
_____________________________________________

Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

_______________________________________________

I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.

I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and fucks off.

__________________________________________________

Today a native was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.

Regina police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

__________________________________________________ _

A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.

__________________________________________________ __

Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.
She asks what are they made of.

The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.

The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.

__________________________________________________ ____

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you fucker'.

He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing'
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      08-14-2009, 08:36 AM   #2
RagingKileak
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I suspect I know where this thread will end up...

Matt
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      08-14-2009, 10:56 AM   #3
JLR1969
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Very funny though
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      08-14-2009, 11:44 AM   #4
Dr Dave
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haha superb!
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      08-14-2009, 11:52 AM   #5
GME92
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LMAO!!! The wedding video joke is the best.
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      08-14-2009, 02:16 PM   #6
Steve A
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two blokes chatting one says my wife is an Angel, the other says you lucky cunt mine is still alive.
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      08-14-2009, 02:32 PM   #7
Dr Dave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve A View Post
two blokes chatting one says my wife is an Angel, the other says you lucky cunt mine is still alive.

The short and simple ones are the best!!
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      08-14-2009, 04:22 PM   #8
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2006 BMW 335i  [5.00]
lol.,...
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      08-14-2009, 04:25 PM   #9
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what do you call a dog with legs? doesnt matter he aint coming.
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      08-14-2009, 05:47 PM   #10
omaragha
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Great thread !
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      08-19-2009, 08:27 AM   #11
330cdsport
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A good put-down to someone that annoys you:

'If c~^ts were scarce.... you would make two!'
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      08-19-2009, 02:46 PM   #12
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-In the Loop, 2009
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