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      07-25-2010, 09:00 AM   #1
abisson
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Who is the douche in this situation?

Okay so here is the thing. I hope it won't be too long to read.

I bought a new car about 6 months ago while being back home for an internship. Then I moved back to university this summer (I have summer terms). I live with 3 other guys. 2 of them I consider my friends and the other... well semi-friend.

Anyways, before I had my car, we were all taking the bus to go groceries and go to school. But now, I am the one giving the rides to everybody: every morning and every night (we all have the exact same schedule). Same goes for groceries. For about 3 months into our term, never ONCE, I got a "thanks". Never.

Everyday, I either leave my house at 8:10 or 9:10, depending of our schedule. So for about 3 months now, they know at exactly what time I get out of my room, get my bag and leave. But every fucking morning, I am waiting for them.

Last week, I told them I was tired of waiting for them and I would leave without them. I just think its a question of respect. If they are not happy, they can take the bus. Last thursday, I caught one "imitating me" being mad at them and telling them I would leave without them one day. I confronted him, pretty badly, and told him that if he wasn't happy, he could take the bus and stfu. He told me I was overreacting and since then, it has been akward.

Who was right or wrong? I think I am 110% right. They seem to think that its a natural for me to give them ride, not say thanks and not pay for shit. (its not a question of money, but at least a sense of appreciation would be nice)

Discuss.
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      07-25-2010, 09:31 AM   #2
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I think they all not respecting you. You are not their chauffeur. They should be waiting for you if they want rides, not the other way around. Things would be different if they pay you handsomely...

I would tell them how would they feel if they were in your shoes to get them to understand your situation.

The one mocking you was simply immature.
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      07-25-2010, 09:34 AM   #3
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You're right
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      07-25-2010, 09:50 AM   #4
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Yeah unless they are paying for all your gas, insurance, and maintenance, then they literally can f**k right off.
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      07-25-2010, 09:56 AM   #5
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i agree with every answer above^
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      07-25-2010, 10:13 AM   #6
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i agree with every answer above^
+1
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      07-25-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
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you're in the right, just wake up and leave their asses one morning and see how they like it.
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      07-25-2010, 10:43 AM   #8
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They sound like bitchy women. Tell them to get their own cars.
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      07-25-2010, 10:50 AM   #9
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Tell them to get their own cars.
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      07-25-2010, 10:59 AM   #10
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      07-25-2010, 12:01 PM   #11
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they're def. the douches man. dont think anything of it you're not their fucking limo driver
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      07-25-2010, 12:07 PM   #12
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I'm the same way. I don't mind doing things for people nor do I expect anything in return. However, a simple "thank you" or "I appreciate it" would go a long way. Sometimes people just take things for granted because they are so used to it. Make up a story and put your car in a shop for a few days and see what they say. If they have half a brain they will realize that "hey, maybe we have been douchebags to so and so."
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      07-25-2010, 12:15 PM   #13
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I once left a friend of mine at the mall once back in college because he wouldnt leave when I was ready to go. He made me late for class a few times and finally I just left him at the mall. I personally wouldnt be driving the guy who made fun anywhere ever.
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      07-25-2010, 12:15 PM   #14
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I was in the same situation for a year in college, except I was the one without the car and getting a ride from my roommate. I can't remember every situation but I did try my best to be ready to go when he was. I didn't necessarily say thanks for the ride as everyday this would get exhausting and meaningless, but every now and then I'd buy him a tank of gas or pay for lunch or stuff like that. Seemed to work fine, never got in a fight about it, and of course he never asked me to do any of that, I just did.

Sucks that your roommates don't get it. I don't think you're wrong, if I had been making my roommate wait for me I'd totally understand leaving without me...
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      07-25-2010, 12:18 PM   #15
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If you guys are going to the same place at the same time, I can see giving them a ride. If it's a regular thing, they can pitch in for gas (at least my friends would've in college)...even if only a few bucks. For me, that's something that goes all the way back to HS. It's etiquette.

If they're typically making you late, leave without them. Only an @$$hat would get mad about that.

Why don't you let them know that it seems like they're taking advantage of you having a car there? Any real friend would listen and understand that. It's easy to assume that a bud will give you a ride, but that doesn't mean it's an implied privelage.

As for the one that was imitating you, if I were you, he'd be taking the bus or finding another ride for a long time.
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      07-25-2010, 12:21 PM   #16
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I am glad to know I wasn't wrong .

The thing though, is they knew the whole way I didn't have the guts to leave without them. The thing is... I live with them and have every courses with them, it would have been way too akward and create drama just for that, thats why I never did it. (I know that I shouldn't live with them AND have every class with them, I basically see them 24h/7, but that is changing next year).

Starting tomorrow, I will be coming to school around 8h, even if my class is at 9h30 in order to study a bit since my exams are coming up. We'll see how it goes. Well, I shouldn't be stressed about it lol. I basically give them a ride since we are going to the same place. But like I said, I have the feeling that for them, it is OBVIOUS that I will give them a ride, no questions asked.
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      07-25-2010, 12:25 PM   #17
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It sounds like they settled into a routine of taking you for granted (waking up later and later since they don't have to take the bus anymore), which quickly morphed into taking advantage of your kindness (bumming rides from you but making fun of you behind your back). You have no reason to think you're wrong just because they can't leech off you at their leisure anymore. Just because you live together doesn't mean you automatically share everything. I'm sure you have house rules; you should make car rules as well. If you talk about it, that should clear some of the awkward-ness from the air.
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      07-25-2010, 01:21 PM   #18
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Don't give them rides anymore.
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      07-25-2010, 01:32 PM   #19
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I agree with the other posters that you are right. By the way, please fix your grammar. It's is a contraction of "it is".
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      07-25-2010, 03:04 PM   #20
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You bought the car. You pay for insurance. You pay for gas. You pay your share in rent. You have every right to do what ever it is the hell you want.

If they start causing drama over a car-ride, fuck them. Move in with other friends.
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      07-25-2010, 06:25 PM   #21
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agreed with everyone above... simple thing is to start leaving on the nose... not waiting a second.

I'm the type of guy that has gotten walked on for being generous before.... I'm still generous, I just take a no nonsense approach now. If you're leaving at 9, then leave at 9 on the nose.... not slowly move out...even if they're running behind you... they need to be taught to give you at least an OUNCE of respect
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      07-25-2010, 09:18 PM   #22
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I don't think you overreacted, and they are acting like complete douches, imo.

Don't you just love how people love to ask you for favors on their own terms?
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