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      02-15-2011, 07:09 PM   #89
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Learn Chinese in 5 mins
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      02-16-2011, 05:50 PM   #90
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hahaha

MORE POSTS GUYS
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      02-16-2011, 06:22 PM   #91
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My car.
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      02-17-2011, 07:29 PM   #92
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Copper Wire

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".

One week later, Australia’s Northern Territory Times, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Tennant Creek, Northern Territory, Billi Bunji, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely fu ** -all. Billi has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone wireless."
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      02-17-2011, 07:40 PM   #93
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      02-20-2011, 05:51 PM   #94
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Bunch of boring people we have here.

Common Aussies show us your jokes!!
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      02-20-2011, 05:52 PM   #95
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Prostate Test

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test through the Medicare system, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side
on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," said the nurse.


"I haven't got an erection" said the man.


"No, but I have," replied the nurse.
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      02-21-2011, 09:04 PM   #96
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A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? The trainer replies: Use the ATM machine outside the gym.
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      02-21-2011, 09:56 PM   #97
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Whats the diff between your wife and your job? After 10 years your job still sucks!
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      02-21-2011, 10:15 PM   #98
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One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.
"Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

"But what about the 10,000 dollars?"

"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
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      02-22-2011, 12:28 AM   #99
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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his
doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night. " "Have you tried
counting sheep? "

"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find it. "
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      02-22-2011, 10:25 PM   #100
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      02-23-2011, 01:49 AM   #101
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^^ Damn thats good
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      02-23-2011, 02:04 AM   #102
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Quote:
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It's about time you posted something Brad
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      02-23-2011, 03:07 AM   #103
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Not aussie but amusing nevertheless.

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      02-23-2011, 09:52 PM   #104
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It's about time you posted something Brad
sorry mate, don't get over here too much these days.
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      02-25-2011, 10:05 PM   #105
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A Melbourne couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with
the way you have intercourse.'
He thanks them for coming, he
wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row.
The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what ar e you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married so we can't go to
her house.
I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98.
The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
I get $43 back from Medicare.
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      02-28-2011, 08:42 PM   #106
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A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'

'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied.. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'

'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'Nope..just when it's raining.'
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      02-28-2011, 08:47 PM   #107
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      03-06-2011, 03:19 PM   #108
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Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
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      03-07-2011, 07:35 PM   #109
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Sitting in a lecture now and the lecturer just said "so it can penetrate through to the inside and get the work done"

(talking about forces)
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      03-07-2011, 07:55 PM   #110
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Quote:
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Sitting in a lecture now and the lecturer just said "so it can penetrate through to the inside and get the work done"

(talking about forces)
Did everyone lol and make him/her feel uncomfortable?
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