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      11-22-2011, 09:40 PM   #155
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Your girlfriend?


Im married to a Jennifer Hawkins lookalike.
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      11-22-2011, 09:41 PM   #156
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unlucky brah
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      11-22-2011, 09:57 PM   #157
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one of the many bahahahah....
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      01-29-2012, 11:40 PM   #158
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TWO PRAWNS

TWO PRAWNS
Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea , two prawns were swimming around.
One called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;
I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'
Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.
All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
Justin began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.
'Where's Christian?' he asked.
'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'
Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'
Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'.........


.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.

'I've found Cod.
I'm a Prawn again Christian'
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      01-29-2012, 11:55 PM   #159
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lame
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      01-30-2012, 06:18 AM   #160
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RaihaX View Post
lame
Not many funny cunts around here. Share your jokes guys n gals
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      01-30-2012, 07:45 AM   #161
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refund on the last 60 seconds of my life pls!
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      01-30-2012, 07:45 AM   #162
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Oh.. and Holden..


Now there's a good joke
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      01-31-2012, 01:58 AM   #163
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Lost Child

A little Muslim kid, crying, can’t find his mother in the supermarket.
The store attendant says ‘What does your mother look like?’
The kid says “I have no idea?”
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      01-31-2012, 01:59 AM   #164
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Holy Soap

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way..

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.
Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.
Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and
three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells...

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND LOTION TOO! "
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      01-31-2012, 02:35 AM   #165
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so wrong though....
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      01-31-2012, 09:09 PM   #166
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hahaha sounds like a sypnosis of a porno - its good when they incorporate a story and costumes with the action!!
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      01-31-2012, 09:59 PM   #167
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10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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      03-01-2012, 07:31 PM   #168
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Gillard Supporter

Yesterday I tried to have a conversation with someone who's still a Julia Gillard supporter. I had such a hard time making eye contact with him ... I just gave up.
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      03-01-2012, 07:47 PM   #169
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is the joke the picture or the fact you said she has a supporter?
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      03-01-2012, 07:49 PM   #170
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is the joke the picture or the fact you said she has a supporter?
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      03-01-2012, 08:01 PM   #171
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris.G View Post
You need to question how bright he really is
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      03-06-2012, 07:30 PM   #172
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what do you call a french man in thongs


Fillip flop
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      03-06-2012, 07:34 PM   #173
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Nice one Pavo, btw is Pavo short for something?
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      03-06-2012, 07:55 PM   #174
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google is your friend. I'll say bye now.....

Whats red and smells like blue paint


red paint silly
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      03-06-2012, 08:06 PM   #175
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google is your friend. I'll say bye now.....

Whats red and smells like blue paint


red paint silly
Loving your name Pavo.
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      03-06-2012, 08:31 PM   #176
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geez what do they teach you kids these days. I thought it was obvious
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