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      11-18-2011, 01:21 PM   #1
ed335d
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Quick joke for Friday...

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me around."

The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in
your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished and swished,
and he didn't touch me! How does the water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water does nothing, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
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      11-18-2011, 01:28 PM   #2
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      11-18-2011, 01:32 PM   #3
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Been a while since your last 'Friday Funny' but worth the wait
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      11-18-2011, 01:38 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ed335d View Post
A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me around."

The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in
your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished and swished,
and he didn't touch me! How does the water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water does nothing, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
Brilliant
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      11-18-2011, 02:08 PM   #5
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lol
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      11-18-2011, 02:10 PM   #6
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Done. Sent to wife's email. LOL
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      11-18-2011, 02:34 PM   #7
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Boom boom
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      11-18-2011, 02:38 PM   #8
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LMAO!!!!!!!!
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      11-18-2011, 03:27 PM   #9
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PMSL!!!! I'm sure you have posted that one before Edwina!!!
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      11-18-2011, 04:35 PM   #10
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      11-19-2011, 07:14 AM   #11
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And one for Saturday...

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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      11-19-2011, 07:28 AM   #12
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I was in Asda last night buying a case of beer.

The woman ahead was buying a ready meal for one, a single pint of milk, one bottle of wine, cheese singles, one youghurt and a copy of Bridget Jones' diary.

I asked "are you single?"

She smirked and looked in her basket and said "how did you guess that"?

"because you are fucking ugly".
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      11-19-2011, 07:36 AM   #13
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says "Hello!".. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids..'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party, that I f*cked on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,

"No, I'm your son's teacher.
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