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      07-28-2012, 11:38 AM   #1
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My girlfriend broke up with....

I know we all go though break ups, I have gone though of my share of girls that I somewhat loved but not entirely (I used to be very cynical about love). However how do deal with a girl you truly loved? I dated this girl for almost 3 years, not super long but I have known her for about 5. Typically we live 2 hours away form each other, at different colleges. But it has never caused issues, I am 26 Gradate school and she is 22 a Microbiology and cell since major, but I am at home for the summer 5 hours away. To preface this about a week ago my gf made all of the stuff on her Facebook private and deleted us from being in a relation ship. Yes getting annoyed over Facebook is very high schoolish but it really bothered me. I talked to her very calmly and told her it was bothering me and why she deleted us from being in a relationship and I felt as if she was hiding something, she got defensive and said no and that she would change it. Come yesterday I was talking to her and we started to talking and she said she needs more time to concentrate on school and would like to break up, however get back together in 6 moths once she graduates.

I told her I would rather work it out and stay together. She did not want to try and I said if we break up I don’t want to see her for her to call or text me ever. I am very good friends with her parents, they invite me over for dinner and go on their boat all the time and call me randomly. I had to return some things to her dad and he said he is really said to see this happen and thought we would get married. He asked me to please talk to her, and promised me that she is not interested in anyone else and would really like us to work it out because we have something special between each other. But I cannot anything out if she is not interested in that. I have not talked to her in two days, but her dad keeps calling me asking me to go on the boat with them and help me do some things.

How have any of you dealt that with that one that got away, or do you think I am being harsh by not wanting to see or contact her at all. I loved this girl with all my heart and saved 25k to buy her to get engaged. I guess I am just so surprised by this, and to sad to lose a person that I so close to and we got along so well with and just truly loved.
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      07-28-2012, 11:46 AM   #2
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Don't chase. Stay dignified, be polite, and keep your distance. Oh - and hang out with other girls.
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      07-28-2012, 11:49 AM   #3
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use those 25K to buy another car.

then chase pussy all day everyday....

show up on the boat with her dad with a smoking hot chick with big tits....

start a thread in a few weeks and tell us how it went....
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      07-28-2012, 12:00 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Litos View Post
use those 25K to buy another car.

then chase pussy all day everyday....

show up on the boat with her dad with a smoking hot chick with big tits....

start a thread in a few weeks and tell us how it went....
haha this make me laugh, thank you!

Her birthday is in two weeks. and she will be back here, she wanted to meet up with me and talk but I told her I did not want to. Her parents want me to as well, but I said no to both of them. I bough her a David Yurman bracelet like a month ago for her bday and am not sure what to do with it now.
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      07-28-2012, 12:25 PM   #5
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she's doing what every college bound chick in a long distance relationship is doing: she is fucking somebody else

sell the bracelet and get some rims for your new M3

if she's back at your place on her birthday, might as well just stop posting, castrate yourself and buy a Prius....

leave that broad alone man - seriously.

yeah, it hurts because you're in love and blah blah blah, but she doesn't want to be with you and she's using the whole "school excuse" while she's off getting her throat coated with some man goo......

if you're offended by anything i said, oh well - that's what most people are going to tell you.

**straight and to the point - i don't beat around the bush**
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      07-28-2012, 12:30 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by RedBarron View Post
To preface this about a week ago my gf made all of the stuff on her Facebook private and deleted us from being in a relation ship.

I talked to her very calmly and told her it was bothering me and why she deleted us from being in a relationship and I felt as if she was hiding something, she got defensive and said no and that she would change it.

Come yesterday I was talking to her and we started to talking and she said she needs more time to concentrate on school and would like to break up, however get back together in 6 moths once she graduates.

I told her I would rather work it out and stay together. She did not want to try and I said if we break up I don’t want to see her for her to call or text me ever.
every thing that i have bolded pretty much shows how immature and detached from reality this broad really is.

the writing is on the wall - this WILL be a good thing when you finally grow some hair in your asshole and decide to move on.
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      07-28-2012, 12:31 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Litos View Post
use those 25K to buy another car.

then chase pussy all day everyday....

show up on the boat with her dad with a smoking hot chick with big tits....

start a thread in a few weeks and tell us how it went....
Honestly , this is the only way to get over her. if you really want to get over her..
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      07-28-2012, 12:58 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Litos View Post
she's doing what every college bound chick in a long distance relationship is doing: she is fucking somebody else

sell the bracelet and get some rims for your new M3

if she's back at your place on her birthday, might as well just stop posting, castrate yourself and buy a Prius....

leave that broad alone man - seriously.

yeah, it hurts because you're in love and blah blah blah, but she doesn't want to be with you and she's using the whole "school excuse" while she's off getting her throat coated with some man goo......

if you're offended by anything i said, oh well - that's what most people are going to tell you.

**straight and to the point - i don't beat around the bush**
This is very true..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Litos View Post
use those 25K to buy another car.

then chase pussy all day everyday....

show up on the boat with her dad with a smoking hot chick with big tits....

start a thread in a few weeks and tell us how it went....
This will work
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      07-28-2012, 01:07 PM   #9
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Dude,
Chill, have patience, and dont let your angst eat you up. You do that then SHE runs your life, not you. Most women dont respect that. Be polite, let her talk and be the guy they dream about. You know, the man that doesn't lose his cookies everytime he's pissed. Women remember how you act in the tough times, not the easy ones. At this point nothing's permanent; unless you make it that way. Obvious she wants some space/time to herself.
Some things to look at:
1. Are her parents divorced, if so did they divorce before she went off to college? - as much as we wont admit it, we learn from our parents and tend to follow the same patterns. This teaches the kids that relationships, people, family are disposable. If not, trust her until she proves otherwise.
2. Time - Grad school, if she's full time at a good school, its no joke, but you probably already know that.
3. Money - Its awesome you SAVED 25K. But I hope you make great money, cause if you are starting with a 25K gift, yes thats what ALL jewelry is, you are setting the bar really high for the beginning of her/your life. Your time and your attention is what gets the girls who are looking for a long term relationship. If she's really that high maintenance, then send her a "thank you, have a nice life" card. Be sure to include a pic of you and the porn star with big tits and she'll never bother you again. These days I wouldnt spend more than 3-5k for a wedding ring and I make 100k a year. Get the house, the car, raise the kids, family, thats what marriage is about. But hey, if you are making 250K a year I'm way off track here. But if so Id be surprised that you'd put yourself out on a public forum like this. But it is cheap therapy.

Why not do something out of the box. No facebook, no emails, no phone calls...send her a monthly letter that tells her how your life is going. Be positive and always end with a short "miss you" After about 6 months of that if she's not interested, remember one thing. Think about how many quarters($0.25) there are in this country, .... theres more women than quarters and most dont want a great man, just a man. Part of being a man is running your own life so you can provide for those you love - and get all the toys you can afford!

Good luck - remember the quarter!
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      07-28-2012, 01:40 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by BruceJ View Post
3. Money - Its awesome you SAVED 25K. But I hope you make great money, cause if you are starting with a 25K gift, yes thats what ALL jewelry is, you are setting the bar really high for the beginning of her/your life. Your time and your attention is what gets the girls who are looking for a long term relationship. If she's really that high maintenance, then send her a "thank you, have a nice life" card.
This

OP, she breaks up with you and wants to get back together in 6mo after graduation. As hard as it may be, given the 3 years you've had together (excluding the first 2 years of friendship), that's not something one does in a meaningful relationship. It was not meant to be. Even if she's just stressing from school work and such leading up to graduation, think about how much more stressful or hectic life would be down the road w/ kids, a mortgage, etc... Not a very good coping mechanism.

As for the bracelet, the name means nothing to me so I don't know what degree of expense it implies. If you cannot return it, either: 1) sell it (probably at a loss), 2) give it to your ex as a final goodbye, or 3) save it for someone else.

Best of luck, OP. Stash that 25k away. It never hurts to have a good rainy day fund set aside and you've got a pretty good jump on it.
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      07-28-2012, 01:46 PM   #11
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Regardless if you get back together with her or not I would re-evaluate the $25k ring budget. You can get an extremely nice ring for half that or less. Save money for the wedding, don't blow it all on the ring.
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      07-28-2012, 02:08 PM   #12
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Yep, I would too deal with a break up by posting about it on a random Internet forum.

Oh yeah, and she is done with you. Man the fuck up
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      07-28-2012, 02:14 PM   #13
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      07-28-2012, 02:24 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Litos
she's doing what every college bound chick in a long distance relationship is doing: she is fucking somebody else

sell the bracelet and get some rims for your new M3

if she's back at your place on her birthday, might as well just stop posting, castrate yourself and buy a Prius....

leave that broad alone man - seriously.

yeah, it hurts because you're in love and blah blah blah, but she doesn't want to be with you and she's using the whole "school excuse" while she's off getting her throat coated with some man goo......

if you're offended by anything i said, oh well - that's what most people are going to tell you.

**straight and to the point - i don't beat around the bush**
+1

I would definitely consider this straight to the point, and I couldn't agree anymore...

I was recently in a similar situation,I'm 25 and let's be real here this is 2012... Things are not how they used to be.. I personally don't think people 18-25 are even ready for anything serious...

Get your money right, do u, and pussy will be chasing u...

Let that bitch go.. Not worth it
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      07-28-2012, 02:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BruceJ View Post
Dude,
Chill, have patience, and dont let your angst eat you up. You do that then SHE runs your life, not you. Most women dont respect that. Be polite, let her talk and be the guy they dream about. You know, the man that doesn't lose his cookies everytime he's pissed. Women remember how you act in the tough times, not the easy ones. At this point nothing's permanent; unless you make it that way. Obvious she wants some space/time to herself.
Some things to look at:
1. Are her parents divorced, if so did they divorce before she went off to college? - as much as we wont admit it, we learn from our parents and tend to follow the same patterns. This teaches the kids that relationships, people, family are disposable. If not, trust her until she proves otherwise.
2. Time - Grad school, if she's full time at a good school, its no joke, but you probably already know that.
3. Money - Its awesome you SAVED 25K. But I hope you make great money, cause if you are starting with a 25K gift, yes thats what ALL jewelry is, you are setting the bar really high for the beginning of her/your life. Your time and your attention is what gets the girls who are looking for a long term relationship. If she's really that high maintenance, then send her a "thank you, have a nice life" card. Be sure to include a pic of you and the porn star with big tits and she'll never bother you again. These days I wouldnt spend more than 3-5k for a wedding ring and I make 100k a year. Get the house, the car, raise the kids, family, thats what marriage is about. But hey, if you are making 250K a year I'm way off track here. But if so Id be surprised that you'd put yourself out on a public forum like this. But it is cheap therapy.

Why not do something out of the box. No facebook, no emails, no phone calls...send her a monthly letter that tells her how your life is going. Be positive and always end with a short "miss you" After about 6 months of that if she's not interested, remember one thing. Think about how many quarters($0.25) there are in this country, .... theres more women than quarters and most dont want a great man, just a man. Part of being a man is running your own life so you can provide for those you love - and get all the toys you can afford!

Good luck - remember the quarter!
Thanks for the reply.
1. No her parents are not devoiced they have been married since graduating college.

2. If anything I have the most fucked up family situation my father is 83 and has a girlfriend younger than I am, her family realized that was always very inviting with me, and her parents told me yesterday no matter happens with her that things are no different with them and I am always welcome over.

3. The money was not all for that purpose it was for mainly that and other things.

One thing that is going to make it hard I have made friends with a lot of her friends and we hang out a lot.

Bringing a huge tit bimbo on the boat is the best idea ever!

As far for some of the other replies about manning up, it's helpful to get input even though it's though a forum.
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      07-28-2012, 02:48 PM   #16
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You'll be fine bro...stay busy
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      07-28-2012, 03:09 PM   #17
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I was wrapped around my exes finger....knew her for 8 years, proposed she said yes. 1 month later she did the same thing, deleted me off Facebook, and said she couldn't marry me. When I went home on leave I tracked her down, got my ring back, and sold it.

Im proud of myself, for how much i used to chase this girl that it was the last straw. I didn't mope and beg for her back, or even try to talk to her. Just showed up, got my shit, and kicked her ass from my life.

Oh, best part, I took the money from selling the ring and used it as my deposit for my new BMW.

I've never felt better in my life (not because of the BMW lol). Self confidence through the roof, girls are interested, and they seem to be attracted to my not giving a fuck attitude.

Sometimes a sign is a sign and you just need to move on with your life.
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      07-28-2012, 03:16 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedBarron View Post
Thanks for the reply.
If anything I have the most fucked up family situation my father is 83 and has a girlfriend younger than I am, her family realized that was always very inviting with me, and her parents told me yesterday no matter happens with her that things are no different with them and I am always welcome over.
That was def one of the the things I liked/still like about my wife - her parents. She turned out the same way as her mom. Shes a nester, supporter,got a few flaws but always listens and is willing to compromise. That's the word they should use to rename marriage. It's what it takes to make things work for both of you.

So a little patience might be the way to go here. So maybe a brief letter of apology for letting your temper get the best you, then leave it sit. When I write under duress I always follow 2 basic rules. First write it, let it sit a day, then read it to make sure Im not being offensive, I get to the point and I make it short so hopefully it helps to get what I'm really after. If all I want to do is share the pain - I could call, or face to face, most of the time that gets heated and is counter-productive. Then maybe a slow non-intrusive campaign to let her know you care. If that doesn't work - round peg, square hole. Whole point being, you have more time than you may think and not everything works out - dont let it kick your butt.

You already know the man up thing is called that cause it sucks to act like nothings wrong when it is. There are a lot of suck ass situations that dont ease off quick. Make them work for you instead of letting them hammer you. Only thing you can do is try to act with grace under fire. I dont always do this well but when I'm out of sorts I try to stop, listen, deep breaths, then force myself to plan out what to do with my time and stay busy. I try to take that energy and do something with it. Things get better as life moves fwd.

Good luck to you
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      07-28-2012, 03:29 PM   #19
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Disappear from her life for a while and she will come looking for you.

Listen to all the advice in this page especially the getting busy advice, look for a good job, improve ur self, run, cook, drop ur car, travel for a weekend and turn ur phone off.

Disappear from her life for a while and she will come looking for you.

More importantly, get another woman, nothing will make u forget like a new woman.
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      07-28-2012, 05:46 PM   #20
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Hey I know how you feel. Trust me just go hang out with your friends and fuck her. Some girls are horrible man... Not saying she is but they lie because they want to appear dignified and pure and use the excuse they dont want to hurt your feelings when you find out the truth. I just got out of a relationship that I was so deep in. We broke up but we still live together (fucking sucks). Right after we broke up she got a new bf and kept it secret from me and our group of friends and was fucking the guy like 5-6 times a week. I fucked her 3-4 times during the course of the time she had that bf. Fuck I didnt know but when I found out I felt like shit. Guess what her excuse was when I found out? "I didnt want to hurt your feelings because you are important to me." Bullshit. I just went out met more people and that shit is off your mind before you know it. Right now she goes in and out of the house and I dont give a flying fuck what she does. I wanted to give her the best I could but she didnt want it so fuck her loss. Just think of this... Fuck her and dont care about her and remember afterwards she will feel like shit for loosing you and thats the best you can do for yourself. Save that 25k and invest in something more important in the future.
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      07-28-2012, 06:45 PM   #21
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Hey I know how you feel. Trust me just go hang out with your friends and fuck her. Some girls are horrible man... Not saying she is but they lie because they want to appear dignified and pure and use the excuse they dont want to hurt your feelings when you find out the truth. I just got out of a relationship that I was so deep in. We broke up but we still live together (fucking sucks). Right after we broke up she got a new bf and kept it secret from me and our group of friends and was fucking the guy like 5-6 times a week. I fucked her 3-4 times during the course of the time she had that bf. Fuck I didnt know but when I found out I felt like shit. Guess what her excuse was when I found out? "I didnt want to hurt your feelings because you are important to me." Bullshit. I just went out met more people and that shit is off your mind before you know it. Right now she goes in and out of the house and I dont give a flying fuck what she does. I wanted to give her the best I could but she didnt want it so fuck her loss. Just think of this... Fuck her and dont care about her and remember afterwards she will feel like shit for loosing you and thats the best you can do for yourself. Save that 25k and invest in something more important in the future.
+1

Word...
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      07-28-2012, 07:10 PM   #22
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