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      05-20-2013, 02:14 PM   #23
KingOfJericho
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Having a BMW means having class
You must be new here...
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      05-20-2013, 02:16 PM   #24
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3 weeks isn't enough to determine who a person is. Give it time, you WILL know who she is eventually. If you can't wait to determine, move on. Best of luck
Have to agree with this guy. Your level of detail in describing the situation kind gives off the creepy vibe so maybe she feels it too and is being careful.
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      05-20-2013, 02:21 PM   #25
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I advise STOP posting for dating/relationship advice online and talk to your parents, siblings and friends about it. This thread is sort of disturbing in more ways than one.
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      05-20-2013, 06:15 PM   #26
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This is a rather creepy thread.

Pick her up in your "Free Candy" van for the next date.
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      05-20-2013, 11:04 PM   #27
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Three weeks is way tooo long IMO. If I don't get it on the first date I'm moving on- then again I date several sluts at the same time so I might not be the best source for advice.

Being somewhat young myself, I live by the motto you only live once and unless you want to have something serious with this chick I wouldn't invest to much time. You're young, live it up!! So many woman out there and so many ways to get your dick wet. Just don't raw dawg these wenches. You only live once has boundaries... HIV+ = YOLO EPIC FAIL!!!
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      05-20-2013, 11:17 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingOfJericho View Post
You must be new here...
No I'm not new to the forums haha. In general the BMW community has class, and are more respectful, at least in my experience. Of course there are owners who are not, but i have yet to meet any.
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      05-20-2013, 11:29 PM   #29
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We are now a dating advice site?
+1.
To make it more a Bimmer forum:
Talk to her in your car.
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      05-20-2013, 11:45 PM   #30
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Creepy, that poor poor girl
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      05-20-2013, 11:45 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaman View Post
+1.
To make it more a Bimmer forum:
Talk to her in your car.
Ask her to have oral sex in your car for beginners... I'm not saying but I'm just saying.
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      08-15-2013, 10:47 AM   #32
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Where is the pic of her and her friends?
Does it bother you that she is not a virgin? Thats boring!!!
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      08-15-2013, 10:59 AM   #33
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After 3 weeks, if she hasn't opened the back door and is writing love letters, she sounds like one you might want to keep around.

3 weeks is a long time to be with ONE person anyways, how'd you make it last so long?
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      08-15-2013, 11:02 AM   #34
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what the hell? i sure hope she doesn't read this thread cause im sure shell be pissed off that you posted this....if you are truly into her then im sure you can wait but if your not and just wanting some actions...im sure her friends can help you out with that..

and im not sure if this is the right site to post this kind of material....either way hope things work out for you bud
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      08-15-2013, 11:12 AM   #35
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Get downpipes
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      08-15-2013, 12:23 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andrew777 View Post
Background
She is young, 19, and has been very timid and reserved
She is very inexperienced
So I take it because you're posting something so ridiculous on a BMW forum, that you are like 20-25 and quite inexperienced at life yourself.

Seriously dude, you don't know what to do in this situation? Ask your dad for help, I'm sure he bought you the BMW to begin with.

Probably shouldn't be knocking her.
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      08-15-2013, 12:51 PM   #37
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I think the real issue we have here is, that there are no clothed/unclothed pictures of her to determine if she is worth the wait or not....,


For all we know, OP could be a chubby chaser...
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      08-15-2013, 02:31 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andrew777 View Post
Background
I've been seeing this girl for 3 weeks
...
She is young, 19...
She is very inexperienced
...

Anyway, things have been going well, ... and I really care about her a lot, but I feel like things are moving a bit slow. ... I thought it was nice that she respected herself enough not to hook up with anyone right away.

Here are my concerns...
...her [two] best friends...are incredibly slutty. After spending the evening with them I just can't picture my girl as this innocent virgin anymore. This is kind of pissing me off, since I haven't really had to deal with this shy prudish nonsense since like sophomore year of high school. Anyway, now I've gotten it into my head to just ask her if she is a virgin, but I feel like that would be awful. It just seems like a lose/lose since if she says no I will probably be pissed that she doesn't trust me enough to go farther and if she says yes it would come off as incredibly rude and inconsiderate.

It's really starting to bug me now that I met her friends though. Some of my friends have been breaking my balls over this as well, but that didn't bother me. Now I just have this doubt about her hovering over me.

Am I just being an ass by worrying about this? Everything else is really great, but I guess I find her wanting to take things slow as an insult to my ego. I don't doubt that she cares about me or is attracted to me since she has really blossomed since we met, she comes over and cooks, and even writes me love letters.
I have several thoughts on this:
  • It's only been three weeks! What exactly are your expectations and desires at this point? It would help us to give you a good answer if we knew precisely what you wanted. Do you just want to have sex with her? Do you want a demure girlfriend? Do you want an older woman? Do you want a GF who knows what she's doing in bed?
  • Has it occurred to you that her actions may be a reflection that, at this point in time, she may not be as into you as you are her? Maybe she's "testing the waters" with you, but isn't yet sure what she thinks of you?
  • Why would she feign " the good girl?" Perhaps it's because of some perception she has of you? Perhaps it is indeed because she's very experienced and is afraid you may not want that in someone of her age? I have no idea, but I know that folks of integrity don't pretend to be something they are not. So, if her standoffishness isn't the result of a vibe she's getting from you, this is a fish you may want to toss back. Forget about "why" and move on.
  • Three weeks in, you can't read her mind, and expect to accurately assess her motivations any more than she can yours. That you are asking a ton of complete strangers for insight on this matter suggests to me the communication between you and her is non-existent or, at best pitiful. If you two can't discuss the matter candidly and objectively, you two aren't going to be a successful couple. If you feel you can't really have that sort of communication with her, regardless of why that be so, move on now and let bygones be bygones.

    What you need to do is sit down with this girl and discuss this matter with her. I suggest you tell her what you feel/think, but avoiding asserting anything about her, her character, her chastity, etc. I can't suggest to you how to start that conversation, because I don't know you or her and however you initiate the discussion, it must work with your style and character, not mine.

    I sense you don't have much experience at having such discussions, in large measure because you are asking us about it, rather than just telling us about it and soliciting no input. Accordingly, you just have to do it in the way you think best. If you two are meant for each other, whatever way you choose will work. It may work; it may not, but at the least, you'll learn how to be more effective at it the next time. And there will have to be a "next time" if you want a relationship; all successful relationships require honest,open communication.
  • I said I can't tell you how to deliver your message. I might be able to give you some insight on figuring out what to say. You'll recall my first bullet asked you what you are expecting. I suggest you write those things down as succinct bullet points. Then organize your thoughts about each of those goals and write them down, making sure not to edit the thoughts themselves as you write them. Then put the paper/file aside. A day or two later, because separation from them will give a bit of objectivity, read them from the standpoint of someone who is the recipient/object of those thoughts. This will accomplish several things for you:
    • If you think you'd feel the need to become defensive upon hearing someone say that to you, you'll know you need to find a better way to present your ideas and concerns. If your delivery puts her on the defensive, it's probably over right then and there.
    • If your thoughts are just a rambling, disorganized mess leading to nothing clear, you may well have nothing worth saying and/or nothing worthy of concern. Drop the matter and let things continue as they are and see what happens. Just be wary of arriving at this conclusion because it is the path of least resistance. Successful relationships are so, in part, because they can endure challenge not because they can't.

      The "happy path," or "acquaintances with benefits," sort of relationship is successful because there's just no need to ask for more or challenge the current state of things. That happens when both parties know they each only want the affair to be of a limited nature. (Of course, they an only know that if they communicated enough for that to be so.) Such relationships never get beyond having fun while it's convenient for both parties. One example of this is a person who travels often to some place and has physical relationship with someone in that city, but also has a spouse back home. Another is the person who has several relationships whereby none of which s/he expects/hopes will endure for the long term. One of them may move past the "happy path" stage, but then all the others fall by the wayside at that point.
    • You'll be able to tell from the initial bullet points whether your concerns/desires are reasonable overall, as well as in consideration of the tenure of your relationship. If they aren't you need to get over them for the time being or just move on to someone new.
  • Assuming they pose no threat to your safety, her friends shouldn't matter to you beyond the fact that because they are her friends, you need to show her the respect of being respectful to and of them.
  • You are right to ignore what your friends say about her. Whom you date, f*ck, marry, etc. is frankly none of their concern, unless, of course, they want to "get with you" or with the person you are seeing. In either case, their lack of integrity on the matter would call into question, were I you, the sincerity of their friendship. (That's not to say friends can't be lovers for indeed love works out best when the people involved are friends. It doesn't matter whether the love or the friendship comes first. When lovers are friends, even if the love part fails, the friendship endures if it was genuine in the first place.)
  • As I understand what you wrote, it seems to me the only thing that's concerning you is that your friends have poisoned your mind regarding this girl. You said your friends' comments don't bother you, yet the things that concern you seem to be exactly that. In fact, I'm not certain whether it's your relationship with your friends or your relationship with the girl that's actually troubling you most. You have a decision to make, and you may need to take action:
    • They are right and, as I intimated above, she's deliberately deceiving you regarding her true nature. If that's the case, move on. The reason you are disturbed is that you know they are right about her, but you want to "conquer" before you move on and you are trying to have your cake and eat it too, as it were. Get over it. She doesn't have exclusive rights to good p*ssy.
    • They are wrong. You'll need to have that discussion with the girl if you indeed feel they are wrong. That's the only way you are going to get an accurate answer on that point.

      Assuming they have gone beyond one time expressing their opinions with you, you need to put them on notice. If that's necessary, tell your friends that you appreciate their courage, altruism, and integrity for sharing, as your friends, their thoughts about this girl and that you understand their comments are offered only as the kind advice of well intentioned friends. You need to make clear to them that you've heard what they had to say and will consider it as you feel it appropriate to do so. Then you need to tell them cease and desist, show the girl the respect she deserves, if only because you like her, and unless you expressly ask for their input, keep mum on the matter.

      For your part, you need to stop discussing with them what's going on between you and the girl. It's not their business and the less they know about it, the better off you all will be. They clearly don't like the girl, or they are jealous. Either way, you have nothing to gain by discussing it with them. They aren't going to be supportive; they've already shown that to be the case. Lastly, you may want to keep your eye open for some new friends who can behave with more maturity than your current ones have thus far, provided it wasn't you who for all intents and purposes asked them to poison your mind. Actually, you may want to do that anyway seeing as it's us you are having to ask for input, rather than being able to rely on the folks who are supposed to be your support network. Just what kind of friends are these people?
Finally, if all this "concern" of yours is really just about getting some tail, you just have a few choices:
  • Bust a move and see what happens.
  • Tell the girl you want to do the nasty and see how she responds.
  • Ask the girl why she thinks y'all ain't got busy yet. Take it from there.
  • Go get yo'self some strange.
One parting thought regarding your friends: I realize that, as if often the case among young folks, that it may just be your needing to ask us about this situation is a matter of two cliches acting in concert:
  • The blind leading the blind -- rarely a good position
  • Birds of a feather flocking together -- it's just that none of you is all that knowledgeable about relationship building
So, please don't get defensive about what I've said. I've tried to be objective and helpful, not insulting. I wish you the best and hope the situation pans out in a way that suits you.
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      08-15-2013, 03:20 PM   #39
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ashmostro View Post
Get downpipes


Where are the pics OP?!
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      08-15-2013, 03:22 PM   #40
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Quote:
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I have several thoughts on this:
I realized after I posted earlier that this is really a 3-month old thread -- I assume he either got laid or moved on by now
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      08-15-2013, 03:26 PM   #41
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I realized after I posted earlier that this is really a 3-month old thread -- I assume he either got laid or moved on by now
I didn't notice that at all. I wish I had. It showed up under "New Posts" and I thought it was new. Doh....

TY for pointing it out. I'll be more careful to look in the future.
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      08-15-2013, 03:27 PM   #42
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So does OP still have blue balls?
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      08-15-2013, 03:30 PM   #43
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Get downpipes
That is the best advise so far, it will be the "Bang for the buck" which sounds like something you are seeking for.

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      08-15-2013, 03:35 PM   #44
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Oh and lest you forget, consider a dpfix too...
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