E90Post
 


Horizon LED
 
BMW 3-Series (E90 E92) Forum > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > New Sex Tip!



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      10-21-2013, 06:44 AM   #1
BMWrules7
Major
20
Rep
1,070
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 750Li, Alpine White
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Boston Area

iTrader: (0)

Okay, she is on top for a while. Now, you want to rollover and complete the act. But, she is too small and you're too big.

So, as you rollover together, you crush her or your wee wee falls out and then she is too sore and it's all over, right?

No! Instead of rolling over on the bed, lift her up while you are still in her and go in the other direction off the bed. Then, just spin around while standing on the floor and lay her butt back down on the bed perpendicularly!

Mission accomplished. Or should I say missionary accomplished.
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 08:11 AM   #2
Billup
Oh you fancy, huh
Billup's Avatar
Azerbaijan
102
Rep
767
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Sex Tip #2:

Don't take sex tips from OT.
__________________
2012 Black Motorbike
2008 Red Car
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 08:12 AM   #3
stevers314
packet jockey
stevers314's Avatar
2
Rep
254
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 335d M Sport
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Lex

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2011 335d  [0.00]
But what about the other girl?
__________________
2011 335d
With great torque comes great responsibility
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 09:06 AM   #4
b1aze
Just one more taste...
United_States
22
Rep
1,419
Posts

 
Drives: 2010 135i
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Shirley, MA

iTrader: (14)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billup
Sex Tip #2:

Don't take sex tips from OT.
Tip 3:
Don't take sex tips from someone who calls it a wee wee
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 09:15 AM   #5
Whostheboss
Captain
Whostheboss's Avatar
41
Rep
787
Posts

 
Drives: a 9incher
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Connecticut U.S.

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevers314 View Post
But what about the other girl?
Her turn will come. For the mean time, she can keep watching
__________________
WHO'S THE BOSS
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 09:25 AM   #6
Mr Tonka
Tonka.... Mr. Tonka
United_States
43
Rep
1,204
Posts

 
Drives: Exceptionally well :)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tampa, FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by b1aze View Post
Tip 3:
Don't take sex tips from someone who calls it a wee wee
Especially if it's so small that it "falls out".
__________________
-Joe


"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else." — Frédéric Bastiat
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 09:31 AM   #7
Whostheboss
Captain
Whostheboss's Avatar
41
Rep
787
Posts

 
Drives: a 9incher
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Connecticut U.S.

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka View Post
Especially if it's so small that it "falls out".
__________________
WHO'S THE BOSS
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 10:08 AM   #8
BMWrules7
Major
20
Rep
1,070
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 750Li, Alpine White
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Boston Area

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Whostheboss
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka View Post
Especially if it's so small that it "falls out".
Yeah, go on and you keep laughing at me. But, you try this on her and end up having her think you are a god, I will be right here waiting for your "thanks man!"

It's not just that it's small---it's just that some of us are larger (not in a good way) than we like and rolling over on her is one quick way to kill the mood.

We all are not PUAs like Mr. Tonka!
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 10:13 AM   #9
Templar
Lieutenant Colonel
Templar's Avatar
United_States
40
Rep
1,824
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 E92 M3
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: One of the coasts...

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2011 BMW M3  [5.00]
Hit the gym.
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'13 Toyota Tundra - 4x4 Platinum CrewMax, 5.7l iForce V8
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 10:14 AM   #10
Billup
Oh you fancy, huh
Billup's Avatar
Azerbaijan
102
Rep
767
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Sex Tip #3:

Don't be large (in the not so good way).
__________________
2012 Black Motorbike
2008 Red Car
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 10:15 AM   #11
BMWrules7
Major
20
Rep
1,070
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 750Li, Alpine White
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Boston Area

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Templar
Hit the gym.
Being totally muscular lands you with the same problem---you will crush her.

Try the tip and then come back and let us know.
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 10:17 AM   #12
Templar
Lieutenant Colonel
Templar's Avatar
United_States
40
Rep
1,824
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 E92 M3
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: One of the coasts...

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2011 BMW M3  [5.00]
You can run on a treadmill at the gym too, or take a spin class.
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'13 Toyota Tundra - 4x4 Platinum CrewMax, 5.7l iForce V8
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:03 AM   #13
F1Venom
Captain
26
Rep
906
Posts

 
Drives: ZCP E90 M3
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA

iTrader: (0)

I, too, have many closets filled with Dysons.
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:21 AM   #14
KwlAznKid
Colonel
KwlAznKid's Avatar
43
Rep
2,422
Posts

 
Drives: BMW/MERCEDES/PORSCHE
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: LA/Irvine/Fremont, CA/ University of California San Diego Alum

iTrader: (4)

description was complicated I had to imagine it like 10 times in my head and i'm still not sure I get what was described
__________________
BMW E92 328I /BMW E46 M3 /Mercedes Benz W209 CLK500 /BMW E92 335I(sold)/Porsche 996 911 C2(sold)/BMW E46 325CI(totaled)
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:29 AM   #15
Mr Tonka
Tonka.... Mr. Tonka
United_States
43
Rep
1,204
Posts

 
Drives: Exceptionally well :)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tampa, FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BMWrules7 View Post
Yeah, go on and you keep laughing at me. But, you try this on her and end up having her think you are a god, I will be right here waiting for your "thanks man!"

It's not just that it's small---it's just that some of us are larger (not in a good way) than we like and rolling over on her is one quick way to kill the mood.

We all are not PUAs like Mr. Tonka!
Definitely not a pick up artist. That's my buddies department.

However, being a pick up artist has little to do with pleasing a woman sexually.

Also, i'm not laughing at you, but laughing at the revelation that you just had about a move i figured out almost 24 years ago. Continuing to hone my craft during those years; that move has become superfluous and thereby excluded from my repertoire.

For the most part, if a "move" doesn't get here there quicker, heighten her experience or make the O last longer; it's tossed from the play book. A long time ago, i found out that if you please a woman right, once they're done, they don't care what you do to them in order to get yourself off. That can be the icing on the cake.
__________________
-Joe


"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else." — Frédéric Bastiat
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:40 AM   #16
Templar
Lieutenant Colonel
Templar's Avatar
United_States
40
Rep
1,824
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 E92 M3
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: One of the coasts...

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2011 BMW M3  [5.00]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka View Post
Definitely not a pick up artist. That's my buddies department.

However, being a pick up artist has little to do with pleasing a woman sexually.

Also, i'm not laughing at you, but laughing at the revelation that you just had about a move i figured out almost 24 years ago. Continuing to hone my craft during those years; that move has become superfluous and thereby excluded from my repertoire.

For the most part, if a "move" doesn't get here there quicker, heighten her experience or make the O last longer; it's tossed from the play book. A long time ago, i found out that if you please a woman right, once they're done, they don't care what you do to them in order to get yourself off. That can be the icing on the cake.
I see what you did there.
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'13 Toyota Tundra - 4x4 Platinum CrewMax, 5.7l iForce V8
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:43 AM   #17
Mr Tonka
Tonka.... Mr. Tonka
United_States
43
Rep
1,204
Posts

 
Drives: Exceptionally well :)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tampa, FL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Templar View Post
I see what you did there.
__________________
-Joe


"Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else." — Frédéric Bastiat
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:56 AM   #18
Billup
Oh you fancy, huh
Billup's Avatar
Azerbaijan
102
Rep
767
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by KwlAznKid View Post
description was complicated I had to imagine it like 10 times in my head and i'm still not sure I get what was described
I thought this might come up. I made a tutorial.
Attached Images
 
__________________
2012 Black Motorbike
2008 Red Car
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 11:57 AM   #19
grimlock
Lieutenant Colonel
59
Rep
1,811
Posts

 
Drives: F10 N52B30@255PS
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Hong Kong

iTrader: (0)

either I haven't had sex in too long, or the description is unintelligible

OP, are you related to Shah..?
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 12:05 PM   #20
Sara504
Banned
United_States
353
Rep
17,687
Posts

 
Drives: 2013 335is
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newport Beach, CA

iTrader: (6)

Missionary is not on the top list of how women like to finish. The best is woman on top with her back against your chest. As the blood rushes to her head its a great sensation since her head is back against your shoulder. If she's sore, the blood rushing to her head will distract her. Its the best position.
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 12:07 PM   #21
M3Denver
Lieutenant
M3Denver's Avatar
7
Rep
423
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 BMW M3
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Denver CO

iTrader: (0)

If you lost weight you'd be able to give better tips and get more.
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2013, 12:07 PM   #22
Billup
Oh you fancy, huh
Billup's Avatar
Azerbaijan
102
Rep
767
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

FWIW: I think OP explained the process a little too in depth.

If she is on top, "stradle her" and lift her up and stay "connected" if you will, and lay her perpendicular to the bed remaining "connected", and then pursuing a continuation in a new format, rather than trying to roll over without your sheer mass crushing her to death (for those of you who are proportionately unhealthy or don't know what you're doing).
__________________
2012 Black Motorbike
2008 Red Car
Appreciate 0
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:04 PM.




e90post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST