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I had the same problem with those 3 pin connectors. I didnt have the patience so just used long nose pliers to get a purchase on it and 'wiggle' it out. It does come out but you have to use a little force. I think the proper way to do it is to unscrew the front trim (3 screws behind the wheel) and take the unit out and unplug it as there are lugs that need to be depressed using a small flat head screw driver.
I may be wrong but theres my two pennies worth.
Once they're out then all you need to do is unscrew the paddles (one torx screw each side) and swap them over. If I were you I would get the M3 DCT paddles that a forum member is selling on here. He's asking £110 which is a fraction of the cost new and they have transformed the manual override function immensely.
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