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I was in a club the other night when I saw this fat fucking bitch standing by herself. I went over to the bar, bought 2 beers, walked over to her and handed her one, saying 'Happy birthday'.
She looked at me funny and said, "It's not my birthday."
I looked her up and down and whispered in her ear, "Then stop eating cake".
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Car: 2011 BMW E91 335D M-Sport
Previous: 2010 BMW E70 X5 3.0D M-Sport - last seen going backwards in a hedge 
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