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      10-26-2009, 10:43 AM   #1
ed335d
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Essex Girls

An Essex girl goes to Social Welfare to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the assessor?
"Ten" replies the Essex girl,
"Ten?" says the Welfare worker..
"What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah....." says the Essex girl, "Its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have shout 'WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY!' or 'WAYNE GO TO BED NOW!' and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed Welfare worker.
"That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"

* * * * * * *

An Essex girl enters an adult shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The shop assistant replies: "Try again that's the fire extinguisher."

* * * * * * *

Q. What do you call a 30 year old Essex girl?

A. Granny.

* * * * * * *

Q. Why did the Essex girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

* * * * * *

Q. What do you call an Essex girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

* * * * * *


Q. What's the first question during an Essex quiz night?
A. What you looking at?

* * * * * *

Q. What does an Essex girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

* * * * * * *

Q. Two Essex kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.

* * * * * *

Q. What's the most confusing day in Essex ?
A. Father's day
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      10-26-2009, 10:48 AM   #2
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Very funny.
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      10-26-2009, 10:52 AM   #3
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How do you know when an Essex girl has had an orgasm

She drops her fish & chips
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      10-26-2009, 10:53 AM   #4
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And substitute "baltimore" for "essex" and you have the same basic idea for whats around here.
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      10-26-2009, 10:56 AM   #5
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What does an Essex girl use to keep her ankles warm?


Her knickers
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      10-26-2009, 10:56 AM   #6
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Says it all really
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      10-26-2009, 10:57 AM   #7
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Essex is a vast and wide area. So i think this does apply to Southend/basildump girls... aswell as Romford maybe.
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      10-26-2009, 12:35 PM   #8
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      10-26-2009, 12:36 PM   #9
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So then.......what are Essex boys like?
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      10-26-2009, 03:07 PM   #10
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lmao
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      10-26-2009, 03:18 PM   #11
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I met a girl from Essex at a night out at Uni....it was a wonderful excperience....1st year of uni, and I undertstood the concept of a 1 nite stand!....heaven!
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      10-26-2009, 03:30 PM   #12
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What's the difference between an Essex girl and a washing machine?

Essex girl doesn't spit our load out!
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      10-26-2009, 03:33 PM   #13
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Oh man, lol. This is getting nasty.
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      10-26-2009, 04:01 PM   #14
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      10-26-2009, 04:03 PM   #15
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Essex girl, as spotted earlier

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      10-26-2009, 04:03 PM   #16
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Um, if thats a typical essex girl, then sign me up!!!
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      10-26-2009, 04:43 PM   #17
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What is the difference between an Essex girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball
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      10-26-2009, 04:50 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ed335d View Post
What is the difference between an Essex girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball
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      10-26-2009, 04:52 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ed335d View Post
What is the difference between an Essex girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball
Don't understand Ed........can you elaborate.
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      10-26-2009, 04:53 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beemerbird View Post
Don't understand Ed........can you elaborate.
Ed - i think a few photo's would explain it best
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      10-26-2009, 04:56 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E902717 View Post
Ed - i think a few photo's would explain it best
I think that's Will's department
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      10-26-2009, 04:58 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ed335d View Post
I think that's Will's department
I was going to say that but thought you would like a go first
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