Airline check sheet

dxb335d · 03-23-2009, 03:52 AM

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: Thats what theyre there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect youre right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Budgie · 03-23-2009, 04:24 AM

yeah I filled out many a tech log like this. Only thing is there legally binding and also, not as many faults get fixed as you think lol. Qantarse are hilarious to work with,although when I worked for a company who had the first A38* we had no problems with ours but Qantarse have had big issues and so have Emirat*s. So not to scare you to much from flying , also you wanna see some of the ruski shit I fix, now that tech log is funny.

Stop panicing after reading this as it's still safer to fly than drive

Dave_3 · 03-23-2009, 04:27 AM

I'm off to Japan next week on Business ... and a colleague very kindly sent this to me this morning ...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7958367.stm

Hope they have swept it up by the time I arrive.

D.

dxb335d · 03-23-2009, 04:32 AM

I rekon there are far more crashes now than there was 10-15 years ago. Certainly seems that way.

rogerxp · 03-23-2009, 04:37 AM

Probably just increased number of flights and quicker, more accessible, news means yes there are more crashes but proportionatly lower and you hear about them all now (internet, e-mail, 24 hr news).

xenon · 03-23-2009, 05:59 AM

unlikely to be genuine, especially since airliners don not have IFF (Identify Freind or Foe) fitted in the first place:

http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp

booforty · 03-23-2009, 06:37 AM

lol, I like those!

Geoffo · 03-23-2009, 07:46 AM

Cutbacks = Crashes...especially in today's economic climate..

ed335d · 03-23-2009, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booforty

lol, I like those!

+1

03-23-2009, 03:52 AM	#1
dxb335d The Tarmac Terrorist 949 Rep 29,345 Posts Drives: 997.2 GT3 Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ''Fandango Towers'' iTrader: (3) Garage List 2010 Porsche 997.2 GT3 [9.50] 2003 BMW E46 M3 [6.00] 2007 BMW E92 335D [5.50]	Airline check sheet After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem logged by the pilot) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineer) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: Thats what theyre there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect youre right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget __________________ 997.2 GT3
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03-23-2009, 04:24 AM	#2
Budgie Major 30 Rep 1,339 Posts Drives: X1 25D M sport Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: BEDS/CAMBS iTrader: (1) Garage List 2017 X1 25 D M Sport [0.00]	yeah I filled out many a tech log like this. Only thing is there legally binding and also, not as many faults get fixed as you think lol. Qantarse are hilarious to work with,although when I worked for a company who had the first A38* we had no problems with ours but Qantarse have had big issues and so have Emirat*s. So not to scare you to much from flying , also you wanna see some of the ruski shit I fix, now that tech log is funny. Stop panicing after reading this as it's still safer to fly than drive
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03-23-2009, 04:27 AM	#3
Dave_3 Brigadier General 652 Rep 3,445 Posts Drives: G22 M440D Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: CH / SCO iTrader: (0) Garage List 1973 Escort RS2000 MK1 [10.00]	I'm off to Japan next week on Business ... and a colleague very kindly sent this to me this morning ... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7958367.stm Hope they have swept it up by the time I arrive. D. __________________ Escort Mk1 RS2000 (2.1 2x44IDFS, BVH, Kent FR32, 5spd, 180 BHP) : M440D ¦ Previously : F32 435D : F32 430D M Sport sDrive, 335D E92 2006
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03-23-2009, 04:32 AM	#4
dxb335d The Tarmac Terrorist 949 Rep 29,345 Posts Drives: 997.2 GT3 Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ''Fandango Towers'' iTrader: (3) Garage List 2010 Porsche 997.2 GT3 [9.50] 2003 BMW E46 M3 [6.00] 2007 BMW E92 335D [5.50]	I rekon there are far more crashes now than there was 10-15 years ago. Certainly seems that way. __________________ 997.2 GT3
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03-23-2009, 04:37 AM	#5
rogerxp Major General 165 Rep 5,950 Posts Drives: M3 Comp Pack / QQ+2 Tekna Join Date: May 2008 Location: Stockport, Cheshire iTrader: (1) Garage List 2008 350Z GT Roadster [2.00] 2004 Honda S2000 [0.00] 2005 Nissan 350Z GT ... [0.00] 2006 E92 BMW 335i SE [9.00] 2003 Maserati 4200 [6.00] 2006 E90 330d M Sport [0.00]	Probably just increased number of flights and quicker, more accessible, news means yes there are more crashes but proportionatly lower and you hear about them all now (internet, e-mail, 24 hr news). __________________ Current -: MW E92 M3 Competition Pack / Qashqai+2 Tekna 1.6dci Gone -: 370Z GT Roadster; BMW X3 3.0d xdrive M Sport; E46 330i M Sport Coupe; Mazda RX8 231; Nissan 350Z GT Roadster; BMW E90 330d M Sport; BMW E92 335i SE; Maserati 4200; Nissan 350Z; Honda S2000; Astra Coupe Turbo; Ford Probe
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03-23-2009, 05:59 AM	#6
xenon Major General 1394 Rep 8,082 Posts Drives: 2021 G21 330i M-Sport Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Coventry iTrader: (0)	unlikely to be genuine, especially since airliners don not have IFF (Identify Freind or Foe) fitted in the first place: http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp __________________ Ian Current: 2021 G21 330i M-Sport Previous: 2018 A6 Avant S-Line MMI+, 2014 F31 320d M-Sport, 2013 F10 520d M-Sport, 2011 F10 530d M-Sport, 2008 320i M-Sport Coupe, 2002 325i, 2001 318i valvetronic, 1998 318i, 1996 525i, 1990 Porsche 944S2
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03-23-2009, 06:37 AM	#7
booforty Major General 337 Rep 8,811 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: London, UK iTrader: (0) Garage List 2008 E92 M3 [0.00]	lol, I like those!
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