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      01-28-2018, 11:38 PM   #1
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How do you cope with it?

How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
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      01-28-2018, 11:41 PM   #2
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sounds about normal to me, but i'm not really "sad." i'm indifferent about a lot of things though.
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      01-28-2018, 11:49 PM   #3
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it's a tough position to be in, indeed.

The most difficult part about feeling like this, is the feeling of being "alone".

You're not alone. many of us feel like because we don't fit in normal social situations, that our differences make us abnormal and unacceptable.

Even though this perception is our reality, doesn't mean that we do t belong here.

I'm usually stronger than this, because my profession and hobbies require me to so, but as I type this with tears in my eyes, because I've been away due to work (as usual) I know what it's like to feel alone.

Reach out to friends and family. that may help in situations like this. I can understand that may not always be an option, but if you ever feel like you cannot reach out to anyone, please PM me. I promise I will respond and be there for you.

You are not alone.
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      01-28-2018, 11:50 PM   #4
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Basically just lie to yourself. Tell yourself that you are happy, that life is great, that you have nothing to be sad about.

Eventually you will start to believe it. I used to be pretty depressed for a long time, basically just thinking about how much I hated myself 24/7. I started lying to myself about being happy and my thoughts of constant self loathing have become less and less frequent. They definitely still happen, but at least itís not all fuckin day.
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      01-28-2018, 11:51 PM   #5
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For me people tend to help lift my mood if I feel down, being alone tends to have a downward impact on my mood in general, Having said that, I would say it is not unusual to feel sad, but to feel sad enough to post does tend to raise a flag. I know there are a lot of medications that can help modify mood swings and lift your overall outlook and mood. I would definitely have another conversation with your doctor and or do seek out friends and people that can help lift you when you feel down. Hoping you feel better soon.
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      01-28-2018, 11:55 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Basically just lie to yourself. Tell yourself that you are happy, that life is great, that you have nothing to be sad about.

Eventually you will start to believe it. I used to be pretty depressed for a long time, basically just thinking about how much I hated myself 24/7. I started lying to myself about being happy and my thoughts of constant self loathing have become less and less frequent. They definitely still happen, but at least itís not all fuckin day.
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
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      01-29-2018, 12:04 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post
How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
Are you married?
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      01-29-2018, 12:06 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
What reality? The one that you created in your head? Saying that you donít belong here sounds like a delusion to me.

Is it better to be delusional and happy or miserable and realistic?

I donít know if it works, but I know I donít constantly think about how miserable I am anymore. Maybe I am delusional but at least Iím no longer slowly killing my self with negativity.
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      01-29-2018, 12:10 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
Are you sure you are not writing about me?

Except I think I rarely feel truly sad. Most of the time I feel angry and disappointed. Angry with people mostly... and disappointed with the world they are creating... or destroying?

You are not that different... not as much as you think.
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      01-29-2018, 12:10 AM   #10
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Start lifting weights and tracking your car. Sets goals and gives something to look forward to.
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      01-29-2018, 12:14 AM   #11
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Not an uncommon place to be sir. Im sorta anti social also although don't have the sad part really. Being realistic doesn't have many fans I've found too. Just know your not alone and lots of people are like you. Focus on the positives. Work out, pick other hobbies(solo is fine), do the things that make you feel good about yourself and don't worry about fitting in.
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      01-29-2018, 12:15 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here
What reality? The one that you created in your head? Saying that you donít belong here sounds like a delusion to me.

Is it better to be delusional and happy or miserable and realistic?

I donít know if it works, but I know I donít constantly think about how miserable I am anymore. Maybe I am delusional but at least Iím no longer slowly killing my self with negativity.
well said.

But we're both making the same point.

The reality that we create for ourselves is the reality that we accept and live with. So, regardless if we are accepting that we don't belong in this world, or we are accepting the lies we tell ourselves.... is that truly accepting "reality"?

The only thing I'm really trying to relay to the OP, especially in my current position (where I am mostly due to my chosen profession and life experience) is that we're not alone... which is usually the feelings that prompt the action of reaching out to others.

Thais is what is thread is... a call for help.
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      01-29-2018, 12:22 AM   #13
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This is going to sound counterintuitive... but listen to some ultra sad music or watch some sad movie or something. Listening to or empathizing with someone else's misery will let you know you're not alone.
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      01-29-2018, 12:35 AM   #14
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Two ways that have been proven to improve mood:
- physical exercise
- service to others (volunteer work at hospital, school, church, nursing home, etc)

Those two things are more effective than any chemical manipulation.

And neither of them has negative side effects.

Your situation isn't so different from what everyone goes through from time to time. Taking action will have positive results.
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      01-29-2018, 12:49 AM   #15
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I drive, listen to music, and eat out at nice restaurants.

I'm also a huge fan of games, mostly board games or cool card games. Some of my favorites are Resistance: Avalon, One Night Ultimate Werewolf, and Codenames.
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      01-29-2018, 01:18 AM   #16
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I rub one out and then I'm happy again.
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      01-29-2018, 02:10 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dmatre View Post
Two ways that have been proven to improve mood:
- physical exercise
- service to others (volunteer work at hospital, school, church, nursing home, etc)

Those two things are more effective than any chemical manipulation.

And neither of them has negative side effects.

Your situation isn't so different from what everyone goes through from time to time. Taking action will have positive results.
These are really good ones. Another thing I like to do is to look at something that's been on my "to do" list for a long time and actually do it. Feel that sense of accomplishment. It could be something as simple as cleaning out the garage to rearranging the furniture.
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      01-29-2018, 03:40 AM   #18
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Wake up early every day go to the gym/ beach/ hiking get out in the sun and laugh at the little things, laugh at yourself, do it all and get tired as hell. Go home have a good meal and hot shower. There are tons of ways to beat this. Self confidence is number one, you build this by all of the above...
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      01-29-2018, 03:44 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GregSM3 View Post
For me people tend to help lift my mood if I feel down, being alone tends to have a downward impact on my mood in general, Having said that, I would say it is not unusual to feel sad, but to feel sad enough to post does tend to raise a flag. I know there are a lot of medications that can help modify mood swings and lift your overall outlook and mood. I would definitely have another conversation with your doctor and or do seek out friends and people that can help lift you when you feel down. Hoping you feel better soon.
Already on medication. Was arrested in 2015 under the mental health act lol. Been on meds since.


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Are you married?

No.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD View Post
Not an uncommon place to be sir. Im sorta anti social also although don't have the sad part really. Being realistic doesn't have many fans I've found too. Just know your not alone and lots of people are like you. Focus on the positives. Work out, pick other hobbies(solo is fine), do the things that make you feel good about yourself and don't worry about fitting in.
I've been going to car meets but I don't fit in. I'm not really a car guy, and when I hear people talking about stage 2-3 clutches and stuff I don't know what they mean, and I stand out by having being the only BMW there, it doesn't help that its an M3 too.
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      01-29-2018, 06:41 AM   #20
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Volunteer. There are always so many people and organizations that need help. Mingle with the less fortunate, financially, and you will realize how fortunate you are.

Get a medication assessment done annually with your physician and keep a daily log of your moods and feelings. If you want to take it to the next level, write down your activity, as well. This will provide a very good picture of your days to your healthcare provider and serve as a reference of sorts to map your moods.

Lastly, every pot has a lid. Talk to friends often and if you don't have a relationship, date frequently.

Good luck!!
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      01-29-2018, 09:10 AM   #21
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Sorry to hear, Iím sure weíve all been there to some degree I know I have. Iíd say the best short term way to help is to go for a loooooong walk or hike or jog, nothing intense. For me last year was probably the toughest Iíve ever had but every night last year for like a month I walked the entire beach here in January. Something like 5 miles, I got rained on freezing beach windchill snowed on but that all ended up helping making it thru the less than ideal elements. Long term solutions are tough to say since so much is going to happen or not happen you canít really predict what will solve it all, Iíd say get a little rhythm maybe pick a time and a place and go for that long walk something to commit to and slowly but definitely youíll find yourself in a better place
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      01-29-2018, 01:40 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsGary View Post
How do some of you guys deal with being "sad"?

At times it gets hard but I go for a drive, but it doesn't help always.

I wouldn't say I'm depressed though doctors have said I have said symptoms of it, plus they're confident I have a bipolar disorder which is obvious.

I'm not a very social person either, so its not like I can go out and talk to people. I've been called an asshole my entire life for being "realistic" about things.
+1 on the bolded. I'm not a social person and I choose not to be around most people. I also tend to see myself as realistic but that is oftentimes seen as being negative from others' perspective. It probably doesn't help that I have low tolerance for stupidity and for those who choose not to improve themselves, but I digress..

If a general physician is making those diagnoses and prescribing, I highly recommend that you see a psychologist or other mental health professional who isn't just going to feed you more drugs. A psychiatrist is better than a regular doctor but they'll be more inclined to push pills than do actual therapy with you to improve your mindset by working alongside you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day View Post
Thais is what is thread is... a call for help.
I'm also taking it this way as well, and why I'm recommending that the OP seek help from a mental health professional. A competent one will be able to work out with you on why you may be feeling this way, so you can get to the source of it all, instead of simply trying to relieve the symptoms exhibited.
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