[georgewny]

Preventive maintenance – Cheapo Parts – Senior moments – lots of humor!

Let me apologize now, this is long and verbose, it is written with humor and advice for others whom may follow. I do not work on cars as a profession, and when you read this, that will become very apparent!

I do hope others can find humor in my faults, as I do now when I look back at all that had transpired, I really do laugh about this and how the course of events really took on a life of its own. All starting with my rookie mistakes!
Over the past weekend I replaced several items that are known to fail and cause issues on our beloved E9X cars.
This time I wanted to see how some of the inexpensive (cheapo) parts from China would be to install.
Usually I never use off brand parts, I just wanted to see how they compare to parts that usually cost from 2 to 4 times more.
Bottom line, I really enjoyed working on my BMW, though there were points that I thought "What the Hell am I doing this for?"
But now, acting as a Monday morning quarterback, I am glad I did replace these items and hope you all enjoy the humor and facts as well!
And have read many threads with peeps blasting how bad an idea it is to use such inferior parts. And also peeps whom have used “brand D” parts and reaped the rewards of saving money as well has peeps have used said parts, had a failure and then redid job with normal "Good" parts.
So the curiosity got to me, and I would try it out on 2 parts that are very easy to obtain and change.
- Charge tube
- Coolant flange (also known as the Mickey Mouse flange, when you see it, you will understand)

I would NOT DEPLOY that philosophy on the Serpentine belt and tensioner.
Car: 2011 BMW 335ix Drive, a very well maintained low mileage E90 N55 (60,100 miles on her)
Purchased December of 2014 as a Certified Pre Owned (CPO)

My intention was NEVER FOR a PERFORMANCE IMPROVEMENT.
As I love the way my stock N55 E90 performs, it has all the giddy up that I like.
It's not in the McLaren circle, nor is it in the circle with the Yugo’s of the world either.
It's just right!

In my humble opinion, it's just the perfect blend of sport, handling, speed, creature features for a daily driver!
(Note, I did swap out the run flats for Goodyear 225/45R17 Eagle Sport All Season a year or two ago) to give her a slightly softer ride and deal better with NY weather of heat, rain, sleet, snow and ice).
So it softened the ride somewhat, which my wife and I both appreciated.
So here is what I replaced:
- Throttle body charge tube, the OEM is a plastic charge tube that has been known to fail when tuned for more boost or as it ages and becomes brittle.
- Coolant flange on head (AKA - Mickey Mouse Flange), OEM is a plastic composite that is known to fail with age.
- Serpentine belt, Tension Pulleys, Deflection pulleys (also called idler pulleys). Classic wear parts that can cause quite the bit of damage if belt gets sucked into the engine. That would really make for a very bad day!

All these parts are known to fail on our cars, and since my 335 is coming up upon her 10th birthday, even though her miles are low.
I figured the constant hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold combined with age, well one or more of these parts MAY FAIL in the not too distant future. Or I could just be wasting money and time for something that may outlast my ownership with her.
Not sure which, but I don’t like rolling the dice.

Either case, it was something I felt like doing to make her more dependable and plus I wanted to have the fun of doing the work myself. I really do enjoy working on cars, and I look at the complexity of the task and kind of determine if it’s something I can handle or is best to pass off to a pro.
I purchased ULTRA CHEAP China made charge tube and coolant flange, as they are easy to swap out incase all hell breaks loose!
But the Serpentine belt, tensioner and deflection pulleys are way to critical and I purchased the kit from FCP Euro, (FCP Euro is the Gold standard for quality parts and service).
So to give some background, the 335ix is our daily driver, it is not garaged and stays outside in New York weather all the time.
We are fortunate enough to have more cars then drivers in our household, so if the BMW gets laid up for a day or a week, it's not a big deal for us. Even though I have a 2 car garage, half of it is for stuff (snow blower, tools, compressor, lawn care, paints, assorted car care products, you get the picture, lots of stuff!).
The other half is for the garage queen, my 2004 Mercedes SL600 V12 twin turbo, she stays put in there during the NY winter.

So I had a few concerns, when I ordered parts, the Chinese parts might take a while to arrive and I wanted to try to accomplish changing all 3 items at the same time. And I am off work from 12/24/20 - 01/04/21. So I really wanted to get the parts before then to have a lot of time in case I need to purchase additional items or tools, or in case things go horribly wrong! (Always a possibility!)
The Mickey Mouse coolant flange, I ordered on Amazon on 11/25/20 (Sold by KIMISS) and they gave me an estimated arrival date of 12/24/20 - 01/19/21. (It actually arrived on 12/09/20)
So this was the part that would determine when I start doing the work, as it had the longest lead time.
Part is ULTRA INEXPENSIVE (CHEAP!), list price of $5.25 minus a 10% discount so it cost $4.75 plus NYS tax.
The China manufactured charge pipe was from EBAY, from merchant MOST-TOOL-SHOP, Buy-it-now price of $55.00, I offered them $50.00 and we settled on $52.00.
I Purchased this on 12/07/20 and it arrived 12/21/20 (I see same part, same vendor has it now for $51.00).
They do not include and O-ring and state to order one or use your old one. Seems most charge pipes do not come with the O-ring, and no way I was not going to use my old O-ring, as the only thing that keeps the seal is the O-ring and clamps!

Strange that this took so long to get here, as it was in New Jersey, and it shipped within 2 days and I tracked it to various US Post offices in the NJ/NY metropolitan area. With massive delays in the NY areas! (I think it was misplaced in one of those locations and was found about a 10 days later).
Still all good, since it arrived before my vacation time started.

And lastly, ordered from Gold Standard merchant, FCP Euro the serpentine belt, tension pulley and 2 deflections pulleys were all part of the kit for $149.52. I also ordered from FCP the O-Ring ($4.95) that goes into the Throttle Body Charge Pipe and also an O-ring for the Mickey Mouse Coolant flange ($3.37) along with a 1.5 liter jug of PentoFrost NF antifreeze.
FCP is fantastic, I placed the order on the morning on 12/10/20 and received the entire order the next day on 12/11/20. Yes, one day!
So now on 12/26 I started the install process of all three items. (Let the fun begin!)
Started first with the Chinese Charge Pipe. After removing my OEM plastic pipe I just tried to see how the new cheap pipe would align up.
With no O-ring or reducer coupler I was able to get the pipe onto the throttle body with just a few tries once I got the hang on how to fit such a large pipe around and under everything. It was snug, but not tight to the point where undue force was needed.

So now I will do the install for real, I put the reducer coupler on one end of the pipe and go to put on the clamps...
This is where my first problem was realized.
The clamps were not the correct size, 2 clamps were supplied, and the smaller of the two should have gone onto the 2.5" side and the large clamp for the 3" side.

Well the small clamp they supplied did not fit the 2.5" side but the larger clamp fit the 2.5" side perfectly. So now I need a clamp... go to Autobarn, pick up a t-clamp for a 3" pipe, and presto, that fits perfectly!
Then lube the O-ring and place it into the charge pipe and attempt to fit the assembly in place.
This took quite some time, with patience I was able to get it all connected! (Hurray!)

I could install another one in probably a minute or two now after what I learned on how to maneuver it into place. The pipe has a very SNUG fit now with O-ring. Felt very good! And once clamps are in place, it was very firm.
The welds on the pipe look to be excellent, the overall quality seems well beyond its very piddly price tag.
All-n-all, I am very happy with the quality and looks of the charge pipe.

Also, being one whom likes to read how others have accomplished the task or issues they may have run into, seems the most common issue folks had was not knowing that the vendor supplies two screws/bolts to hold in the manifold absolute pressure sensor (MAP sensor).
And then they attempted to use the OEM screws to install MAP sensor on the new pipe, they would strip the threads.

Well my cheap pipe handled that with flying colors, the screws were already in position on the new pipe, just had to remove the screws and swap in my old MAP sensor.
Again, it was NOT exceptional amount of force to put the MAP sensor in, it slipped in with just a few moderate twists and a small to moderate amount of pressure.
I put small coating of petroleum jelly on the O-ring, so that probably helped a lot.
Since I have no intention of using the methanol injection, I coated the threads of the bung plug with teflon thread paste and installed.

So here is the BAD NEWS, the inside of my old N55 charge pipe was coated with oil and the lower areas of the pipe had a yucky molasses/syrup sludge puddled up and sludge coating under the throttle body to charge pipe connection too.
I have read that the N54 is not so great when it comes to oil blow by into the throttle body and coating the intake valves with carbon.
The N55 was supposed to handle that much better...
Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, I don’t think so Sherlock! Not if my charge pipe is any indication…

So I am not going to look into an oil catch can and possibly intake valve walnut blasting...
But as far as what I needed, just needed to purchase one 3" T-clamp.
Cost for it was a follows:
O-ring (4.95) + T-clamp (6.99) + charge Pipe(52.00) so for $63.94 I have an all aluminum charge pipe, that is half to one third the cost of the "good" pipes.

Before I took on the next item, I decided to take the car out for a spin and ensure everything is good, took car out for about 5 minutes, slowly at first then flipped it over to sport mode and took it up to speed. Car ran like a champ. No issues what so ever!!!
Not sure it ran any better, but it ran as good, and possibly a slight bit better, I don’t know if it really ran better or if it was my imagination. But it ran like it should! Twin Turbo N55’s has lots of giddy up in them.

Now on to next step, swap the plastic coolant flange, AKA Mickey Mouse Flange! They are notorious for failing.
The horror stories I read in various forums and articles are that people strip the threads in the head.
Caused by one of two ways.
Over tightening the bolts or a cheap flange that has misaligned bolt holes that causes the bolts to enter the head on an angle.
Stripping the bolt holes put the fear of Jesus in me!
Last thing I want to do is take my car out of commission by messing with the head.
Yes it can be repaired, but Gads, I did not want to deal with that issue at all!

So I removed the two bolts on the flange, very easy, almost no force at all required to loosen the bolts.
So to check alignment I put the new cheap flange in place with NO O-ring to see how everything aligns... finger tightened the two bolts... super easy they spun right in with no force at all.

So now for the real install, remove new flange, lube new O-ring with petroleum jelly and fit flange into head.
So here is where others have stated that a good amount of force and twisting was needed... not in my case I just twisted the flange a few times counter-clockwise/clockwise will putting moderate pressure and POP the flange pops into place!
Using a 1/4 drive I tighten the bolts to just snug...

Done! Or so I thought!
I open the coolant tank and also remove bleeder valve, add some PentoFrost antifreeze to coolant tank I start the electric water pump bleed procedure...

This is where I SCREWED UP! ROYALLY!!!
I never put the bleeder valve back in... And once I started the electric water pump bleed procedure...
Well it got UGLY real fast, VERY UGLY!!!

Antifreeze was spewing all over the place from the bleeder valve...
STUPID ROOKIE MISTAKE!!!
DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!!!
I quickly scrambled to put the bleeder valve back in as antifreeze is blowing out the bleeder hole.
Inserted, tightened and let the electric water pump doing its thing...

I am confident, had my struggle to insert and tighten the bleed plug been caught on camera, it would be
a winner in Americas funniest home videos!
I now scramble to mix more anti-freeze and continue to add more n more n more coolant to tank.
All told probably a little over 2 liters were required... mostly due to my stupid rookie mistake!!!

So I start the car up, let it heat up in the garage, no leaks... wait another 10 minutes... no leaks...
Decide to pull car out of garage and hose down engine compart that is coated in antifreeze...
Mind you, it's 30 degrees outside in New York!
With engine running, I hose down engine compartment, and fenders, hood, grill... (You get the idea...) now the driveway is slippery from the antifreeze...

The stupidity just continues!
I let car continue to run at idle while I go into garage to remove the antifreeze soaked cardboard I had placed under the car before I started, in hindsight that may have been one of the few things I did that was smart before I started!

Now back to slippery driveway...
Hose down driveway to wash off the antifreeze and dilute it so no animals ingest it and die.
So now, its 28 - 30 degrees out... the driveway is freezing over...
Yeah, can’t make this stuff up!
Unreal how one rookie mistake just takes on a life of its own!!!

I take car out for a drive, bring it back home after about 10 minutes, pull into garage and pop the hood to check for leaks... amazingly there are none that I can detect.
So I will let car cool down before attempting next step of Serpentine belt, tensioner and deflection pulleys.

Hours later
Car is cool,
Still not seeing any leaks... all good signs.
Check coolant tank antifreeze level, amazingly right where it should be, so I am glad this step is over and I hopefully am past my stupid rookie mistakes!

OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

Serpentine belt, tensioner and deflection pulleys:
I want to remove the tension on the belt, so, as I have read and seen in articles and videos, I take a T60 Torx (which I had to buy an entire set a few days before because I could not find a T60 by itself plus I need a T50 as well).

I apply pressure on tensioner with 1/2" breaker bar, the tensioner moves OK with a decent amount of force. I place an alan key in the hole to hold tensioner in the "relaxed" position to remove all the tension on the serpentine belt.

The belt comes off very easily with exception of the crank pulley, where a little more finesse is needed but all-in-all not bad at all.
I inspect the old belt, it actually looks GREAT, no marks at all, bend it backwards, do not see any cracks or evidence of cracking in the ribs, and the belt looks to be EXCELLENT shape.
So I hang it on a rack in the garage, take out new belt compare that old and new are same size. Yes indeed they are the same size.
Only noticeable difference I can detect is the old belt
has “BMW” on it along with numbers in a blueish green ink and the new belt has CONTI on it in nice white lettering for the numbers and no “BMW” on new belt.

I now have BOTH old and new belts hanging side by side from the SAME rack
(Major hint there on my NEXT mind boggling STUPID MISTAKE).

I figure I have had enough for the day, the rookie mistakes with the antifreeze bleeder valve really shattered my confidence...
Figure it was a good time to stop, get some dinner, play with the dog and relax. I'll resume tomorrow.
Flip off lights to garage and call it a night.

Next morning:
Get a cup of coffee, head to garage, look into engine bay, and below car, no water leaks... NICE!
I start to remove one of the deflection pulleys with the T50 Torx, comes of easy with breaker bar.
Next move to the tensioner, more force required, but comes loose, and it’s kind of awkward to get the assembly out with the A/C lines and electric fan shroud. But not that bad, a few twists and turns and it’s out and sitting on the bench.

Now onto second deflection pulley, and its much lower down, cannot easily fit the t50 in her with ratchet, so I remove the torx from ratchet and place it into the bolt on the pulley, then attempt to place the ratchet on the torx... not enough room, fan shroud in the way, I really need a stubby torx T50 and the one I have is about 3 inches long. I fiddle n fiddle n fiddle with it... then something bad happens...
The T50 drops out the pulley, and worse, I do not see where it went.
UGH!!!
After a few not-so-nice words, I kinda try to see if my arm can reach down and feel under engine on the bottom pan... no such luck!
Then get down under front bumper and tap on under panel hoping to hear the T50 move, anything to give me a clue as to where it is... nothing, no sound at all...
UGH!!!

Without the T50, I am sh#t-out-of-luck, need that bit to continue. I take out my scope, and snake it under engine to see if I can spot the T50 wedged in somewhere. Nothing!
UGH!!!
Then I start looking at the electric fan, thinking I will remove it to give me more room and hopefully find the T50 and make the job a lot easier with the additional room.
Once I determine that I need to remove the bottom pan and also a screw/bolt that holds the transmission cooler to fan shroud, I kind of give up on this idea as I really do not want to lift the car up and crawl under her to unbolt the stuff.

I will bite the bullet and buy another torx bit or set...
Then
I see it, the T50 has lodged itself inside the fan shroud, and it’s kinda wedged in the lower corner, almost out of sight.
Now, the only thing that could possible reach in there and grab it would be the hand from a miniature Marmoset monkey. Needless to say, don’t have any miniature Marmosets, so it’s off to plan B.
Plan B is to try to find that magnet on a springy rod that I had purchased from JC Whitney Catalog sales many decades ago.
(Yes, believe it or not, people really did order from paper catalogs years ago, pre World Wide Web days).
I know I had seen that tool a few months back, just don’t remember where, then it came to me, behind my roller tool chest with a host of other tools I do not use much anymore, like an ignition timing light, distributor nut wrench, piston ring compressor and other assorted tools from years gone by.

Magnet rod in hand, makes for an easy retrieval of said torx bit.
Thank god that is over now!

But am still faced with the same issue, no room with fan shroud in the way, so I make the executive decision, to not change this deflection pulley, I can come back to it at a later date when I get a stubby Torx T50 or if/when I happen to go under the car in warmer weather (something north of 55 degrees, at my age, I do not cherish crawling on a concrete floor when it’s very cold) to remove bottom pan and transmission cooler screw/bolt.
So now, this means I am ready to install the serpentine belt. Walk over to the rack, grab the belt
and start to fit it around all the various pulleys, all the time going back to look at the diagram I made of how it snakes around one, under another over this, past that then down, back around another...
To say a picture is worth a thousand words is so true when it comes to Serpentine routing.
Now, I have the belt where it is supposed to be! About to release the tension on the tension assembly to hold the serpentine in place.
Go to get my T60 and look down at tensioner... I see "BMW" in Blueish Green print on the belt...

OOO NO!
You know that feeling when you’re driving at night and the car behind you, the red and blue lights come on, and then the siren... Police... You know that feeling?
Well that is the feeling I got as soon as I saw "BMW" on the belt...
I put old belt back on...
To call that a rookie mistake is to kind, that is a level of stupidity that I will not soon forget!

Good part was, with no tension, belt slides off, and I also have learned how to get the new belt on much faster now as well. So in a few minutes, new belt is on, release tensioner and it all looks GREAT, nice WHITE CONTI letters on this belt!

So here goes, check all pulleys, belt looks good on all of them, and check them again from a different angle, hmmmmmm
Still looks good.
So I decide to start the car and let it run for a few seconds, shut it off and recheck belt and pulleys.
OK, still looking good.
Now let’s start car, and let it idle and then observe belt & pulleys while it’s idling...
hmmmmm, looking good...

Ok next, let’s take her out for a spin...
Start out slow, then increase speed, windows open, radio off to listen for any strange sounds....
All sounds good, car is running like a champ.
Come home, park in garage, keep engine running, pop hood and look at belt again
hmmmmmm, still looking good.
Shut of engine, look again...
Close hood,
Smile
Am so glad this is over...
Without question my rookie mistakes and stupidity is what caused the heartache. The Cheap parts from China all are doing their job and fit and function very well. The issue was the clamps and O-ring that came with these parts. Putting it bluntly, those clamps and rings were the worst crap I’ve seen in my 63 years of stomping around this earth. But the main pieces appear to be very good quality, but only time and mileage will tell for sure.

On the cheap China parts stuff:
The Charge tube fit nicely, just needed to purchase another T-clamp.
On the Mickey Mouse flange, it came with an O-ring and a clamp, and I am so happy I purchased another coolant O-ring from FCP-euro, as the O-ring supplied by the Chinese manufacturer was a wee bit smaller in diameter then the one from FCP.
I made the decision to use the O-ring from FCP not the China manufacturer.
Also the clamp they supplied is crap, so I used one of the clamps I have on hand at home that I use to repair my underground sprinkler system.
So that is a negative for the cheap Mickey Mouse flange. (The O-ring and clamp they supplied, probably would have worked, but they were both crap)

But the flange itself seems to be well crafted, and no leaks.
So the cost was Flange (4.75) + O-ring (3.37) = $8.12

So all said and done:
My lack of attention to detail (senior moments) and rookie mistakes ended up creating quite the bid of grief for changing 3 items that really are easy to change out!
I did discover that I should consider getting an oil catch can.
Plus while looking at the fan shroud, I discovered another piece of plastic that runs along the top of the radiator, and goes to the coolant overflow tank. So I will likely change that out too in the near future to an aluminum pipe.
Folks, I know this was long and winded, but hopefully many of you see humor in how one simple senior moment can set you on a path where things kind of spiral out of control to events you would rather not experience. It really took on a life of its own! And to be totally honest, I really do know how silly and funny the mistakes made were. We are all human and we all make mistakes. In my case, it cost me time, no damage was done, and I wanted to pass it along because I know how funny it really ended up being. That is the real reason I did this long winded write up.
Honestly I think what has happened is hysterically funny.
I will add a boat load of pictures of the various parts, pretty easy once you see them as to what they are depicting.
Again, sorry for the length of this post, hope you all enjoy it. Please let me know what you think, not to fret, I am married with children, so I can take a lot of abuse. In the end, it all got done,
To me it seems like the China parts will hold up, time will truly test that.
The additional side items of clamps and O-rings were really their downfall as those items were really well below average.

Enjoy
Stay safe
Happy New year to all.